Pain changes people

Pain does not show up in our lives for no reason. It’s a sign that something in our lives need to change.

You’ve seen how people change in their attitude and disposition in life. Those who were once meek and mild can suddenly take on a different persona. You know, when you bump into someone later in life and blurt out, “my, how you’ve changed”!

I tell people that one cannot force others to fight your battles for them. Some don’t get it. Making others do the fighting for you is not fair because the burden of accountability and responsibility is shifted to someone who has no business combatting your struggles in life. If others fight your personal conflicts, it is them that end up being scarred in the process. The process only ends up changing people because they needed to bear the pain that only you needed to go through.

Human relations are complicated. There’s a thin line between using and abusing people. Someone once told me that in this dog eat dog world, using one another for an ulterior motive is natural. I disagree. There’s nothing natural in letting other people take the cudgels for you just because of a personal agenda. I get that. We all have a “goal”. But stepping on other people just to reach that goal is called abuse. Which causes pain. Which changes people.

If we allow the abuse, it either destroys us or we imbibe it to the point that we believe that the abuse is right and we deserve it.

The decision to walk away from the battle is ours alone. A few words of advice…

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