Fear

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Fear is something everyone can relate to. A feeling so ingrained in us that we lose ourselves because of fear.

It all begins and ends in our mind and what we give power to has power over us if we allow it.

There are many reasons why we are afraid.

1. We’re afraid to fail.

Failing and failure are two different events. Failing is when things don’t go our way. Failure is when we don’t try at all to succeed. If we don’t try then we won’t succeed.

2. Worry what others think

Who cares what other people think? In this day and age where social media platforms abound, many of us look for acceptance and affirmation of our actions based on “likes” or “shares”. Falling short of a positive feedback is being unkind to oneself.

3. Being stuck in the past

We all have skeletons in our closet. People who hurt us. Unpleasant experiences. Opportunities that didn’t prosper. If we allow ourselves to be stuck in the past, we’re being unfair to ourselves. There is no direction in our lives if we keep referring to the past.

4. Afraid of what’s ahead

My mom who is now turning 81 told me that at her age, her greatest fear is death. Her mind lurks in the endless thought of what could possibly still go wrong ahead. Repetitively, a scenario of doom and distress. I remind her that fear does not stop death. It stops life.

5. Fear of the unknown

There is no such thing as a crystal ball in our lives.

A favorite author of mine Thich Nhat Hanh says “people have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”

6. Fear of Joy

Miracles begin to happen when we give as much energy to our dreams as our fears. Life is a rollercoaster ride – we can scream out of fear of enjoy the ride. But when we learn to love, fear becomes a stranger.

When you feel fear creeping up during your times of joy, remember all things you are grateful for in your life, and allow yourself to feel the joy.

Better days

We all want to be the best we can be. Always. All days.

A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on it’s wings.

It’s a fair reminder that to have better days we need to believe in ourselves.

Because we want to be better versions or have even better days, here’s an adapted version of 7 steps to help us live better!

1. “Future-focused”

When you think about life, remember that no amount of guilt can change the past. No amount of anxiety can change the future. And because each new change provides us the chance to better ourselves, don’t define yourself with who you once were.

2. Set boundaries

We need to set limits not to control others, but to protect yourself. Let’s not create too much unneeded drama in our lives just because we fail to effectively set boundaries.

3. Feel all emotions

Wouldn’t it be great to just remove all those negative feelings in our lives? Yes! Those unwanted emotions. But positive and negative moments serve as lessons in gratitude and pain. So here’s the deal. Allow yourself to work through the difficult times and get to enjoy the good times so we can experience and learn from life.

4. Commit to healthier habits

There are 6 best doctors in the world. And they give free consultations daily, without having to seek appointments.

Sunshine, water, air, rest, exercise and diet.

We tend to abuse our bodies in more ways than one. And yet we spend so much for health care when health isn’t our priority. As we grow older, we need to plan for better days even with our health.

5. Practice gratitude

Learn to replace our rants with expressions of thanks. Not everything is wrong with our lives. And never get stuck in a rut. Have a mindset on positivity. Some things just have to turn out wrong before they become right. Count your crossings as blessings.

6. Cultivate generosity

Yes, the world does not revolve around you. Those who are bitter about what’s happening to them by drowning themselves in self pity lack appreciation of life in its full splendor. Loving others through generous service deepens relationships with others and makes you happier overall.

7. Give yourself grace

This is the part that I love.

We need to stop being so hard on ourselves. The key to experiencing growth and becoming the best version of yourself is to give grace to who you already are and love yourself along the journey.

(Adapted and parts rewritten from Downs, Ups, and Tencups. 7 Steps to a Better You)

Quiet joy

Those quiet moments. A calmness to the spirit and soul. It’s when I sit alone in the back of church on a weekday after work or give up my anxious mind to God during meditation at the adoration chapel, where I find my quiet joy.

We all have our anxious moments and when it’s there, sometimes it spirals out of control. It runs the show and is responsible for our “bad mood” day! I’m not saying that it’s not okay to be angry or frustrated. That’s life! It’s being stuck in that moment of negativity that we need to rethink of why we’re sweating the small stuff.

So when I run to God to ask Him to calm my weary mind and soul, He gently reminds me that practicing gratitude should be a daily endeavor when facing life’s stressful days.

Grateful.

It’s being in a state of being thankful for all we have in life. And gratitude is one of the most medicinal emotions we can feel. It elevates our moods, showers us with joy and happiness and provides us the opportunity to enjoy life the way it should be.

“Serenity comes to you when you trade expectations for acceptance”

My mindset on positive thoughts reminds me that I’ve seen better days, but I’ve seen also worse. And while I don’t have everything I want, I have almost everything I need. These days, I wake up with aches and pains, but I thank God for another day. And my being grateful at second chances tells me that life is not perfect. But I am blessed.

How grateful are you today? Forgetting our past is the first step to gratitude. Forgiving ourselves is the road to finding joy in calm.

Grateful

How often do you pause to appreciate what you have? Most of us would say, not enough. It’s because we tend to focus on what we lack and what we want.

Unfortunately, gratitude is something we brush aside most of our lives. If gratitude had superpowers or provided material rebates at every flinch, I’m sure we’d treat gratitude in a different light.

Unlocking the potential of being grateful for everything that comes your way is a good way to allow appreciation to flourish.

When we focus on what is good and what is grateful, it makes us feel good and widens our perspective. When we focus on the negative or on stress, we develop a tunnel vision on what life is about. A different perspective is looking at the bright side of life, no matter how bad the situation is or how difficult it gets. We struggle through life thinking mostly of the downside or negative days that we forget we’ve had good days as well.

When we begin to experience the wonders of gratefulness and joy, we transform our lives by simply enjoying the blessings God has provided.

Perhaps taking a pause to focus on what we have rather on what we lack is a paradigm shift we should consider taking. After all, no one said that in our lives, it would always be sunshine and laughter. Gratitude in even the smallest things in our life is the key to unlocking happiness with life’s many blessings.

Pause and recall, when was the last time you thanked God for your blessings?