Things don’t usually work out the way we want. You land a job that eventually sucks or a relationship that doesn’t work out because someone cheated on you or a friendship that gets broken because of some form of betrayal.
Whatever hurt is caused, overcoming that pain is a hurdle. Making rational decisions are mired during those painful moments. One can not contain anger and simply brush off the pain with a whiff. The need to understand the circumstances surrounding this are stressful and when anxiety builds up, it distracts your way of thinking.
But why do these things hurt us? The answer lies in trust issues. We trust the other party too much. We don’t expect that we will get used by them in order to achieve their goal. We end up blaming ourselves because we were blindsided.
To survive in life, one should expect the unexpected. In order to protect ourselves from getting hurt, we need to be kind to ourselves by trusting less and forgiving often.
I’m not talking about paranoia (but yeah sometimes it gets to that point). We just need to be careful about other people’s motives in life. Not everyone you meet on your life journey will stay the rest of your life. What I’m driving at, is that we all need a Plan B in order to survive.
Plan B is thought of well. When one sees the signs that are disruptive in a relationship, you need to ask the unasked questions – why is it happening and where is it headed? Asking the why may need some head on confrontation or dialogue. But it’s hard to figure out the other side when the other side is blindsiding you. More often than not, you can’t tell because only the other person has plans on where this is leading to.
Plan B is for everyone. It’s a safe exit to sanity and yes, becomes a useful tool as a reality check. It’s those “I told you this would happen or I told you so moments” that make Plan B a safe zone to run to when all hell breaks loose.
Plan B, takes reflection and planning and knowing when to execute the plan. A shift in career or resignation from work, calling a relationship quits, breaking the bond of friendship – whatever the problems that hound us, there should always be Plan B.
When you have a good exit plan, your safe zone of Plan B will always keep you going. Moving on becomes less difficult. And you end up a lot happier by making the right decisions in life.