Good manners and right conduct #PetPeeveStories

They teach that to us when we’re kids. In school, at home, in family gatherings…good manners and right conduct are the platforms that spell the difference on how well bred we are.

Rudeness is a sign of bad breeding. How you treat your fellow men, colleagues, family and friends is a reflection of how well bred you are. Of course, we can always casually throw that concept to the wind. For some, it would be pointless to talk about morals when power is at their disposal.

Then there are also those who are plain and simple – bullies! They will never accept responsibility and accountability. At all! You see them in school, at home, at work, and yes, even in social media. The latter have identities hidden as “trolls”. These are “fake” people in the true sense of the word. They will bash others and think only of themselves when the going gets rough. They will put down other people when they are caught in a corner when they cannot escape their web of lies. Their survival depends not on what is right and just, but on what their needs are. Just look at how some “people” rudely respond to comments on social media posts in general. Bash and trash has never been this popular. Long has the concept of, “if you have nothing better to say, just keep quiet“, been forgotten.

Breeding is an important backbone of the worth of an individual. You may have finished from a reputable school, but your true colors show when and how you deal with people. As the saying goes,

You can take the boy out of the county but you can’t take the county out of the boy.

Psychology Today published a report giving several indicators of those suffering from narcissistic rage.

– inability to apologize, or to do it sincerely

– showing or feeling no remorse for their actions

– quick to rage when you humiliate them

– rarely saying “thank you”

– quick to becoming aggressively defensive if you call them on any deficiency, fault, or responsibility.

I’m quite sure we all have personal experiences with this kind of people. The insecurity a narcissist feels means they have to show strength and power to make themselves feel stable. As Danny Wallace puts it briefly and correctly, people who are rude by nature are not only because they are insecure, but brittle.

The rage, the anger, the rudeness is all unleashed when – the way a wounded animal becomes more vicious as it realizes it needs to survive – the narcissist feels under attack and that the next insult may be the one to finish them off.

So they get in there first. They react in the moment. They attack.

Assholes are not born, but made.

Good manners and proper conduct, after all are learned behavior.

What is the appropriate way to behave? And how far should it go before we say enough of the rudeness? And the excuses for being rude?

Wallace goes on to rationalize that

The terrifying truth is that however damaging we can say it, however much we can warn people against it, however much it goes against basic decency and logic, the allure of rudeness can be almost uncontrollably powerful.

Good manners and right conduct, after all, when not learned early on in life, will never be learned when we’re old. Just like the senior citizen I talked about in the drug store post the other day.

And all these intertwined values – manners, right conduct, and integrity – make the difference in today’s society. And only we, can change this new changed attitude.

Remember:

1. Never do anything you don’t want others do unto you.

2. And never do anything at the expense of others.

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