A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.
The little girl replied, “But Jonah was swallowed by a whale!”
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale cannot swallow a human. It was physically impossible.
The little girl replied, “When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” (snickering on the side)
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”
A religion school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old students. After explaining the commandment to “HONOR” thy father and they mother, the teacher asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat, one little boy, the oldest of a family, answered, “Thou shalt not kill.”
One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her dark brown hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of you hair white mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hair turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for awhile and then said, “Mom, how come ALL of grandma’s hair are white?”
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think of how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer’, or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor’!”
A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood. Trying to make the subject matter clearer, she say, “Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it and I would turn red in the face.”
“Yes!”, the class said.
“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”, replied the teacher.
A young boy shouted, “Because your feet ain’t empty!”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: “TAKE ONLY ONE. GOD IS WATCHING.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note: “TAKE ALL YOU WANT. GOD IS WATCHING THE APPLES.”