A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: GET THEIR PARENTS TO TELL THEM A STORY WITH A MORAL AT THE END OF IT.
The following day, the kids came back and began to tell their stories…
Susie said, “We live in a farm and I was collecting eggs from the hen house one day. I gathered the eggs, put them in my basket and ran towards the house. While running, I tripped over a rock and smashed all of the eggs.”
“So what’s the moral of the story Susie?”, asked the teacher.
“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”, answered Susie.
Next, it was Ricky’s turn to go.
“We also live on a farm,” said Ricky. “We have incubators to help our eggs hatch. One night there was a thunderstorm and lightning knocked out the power to the incubators.”
“So what’s the moral of that story Ricky?”, asked the teacher.
“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch,” said Ricky.
The teacher then turned to Janice. “Janice, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about mommy. She was a marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break. Then her parachute landed in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed four more with with knife till the blade broke and then killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
“Good heavens!,” said the horrified teacher. “What did your daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?”
“He said, don’t mess with mommy when she’s been drinking!”