Author: kidatheart

Chapter 1 – Tokyo Stories

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When my mom turned 80 this year, she insisted that our family trip should be to Tokyo, Japan.

My mom is a strong woman who took care of my father who suffered from a stroke due to complications of diabetes. When my father got sick, my mom had to find means to make ends meet. Medicines and therapy for my father did not come cheap. When my father passed away 23 years ago, she was devastated.

Our family is not perfect.  We have dysfunctional moments.  The last five years has been most difficult.  My mother began to deteriorate in her ambulation.  I guess we need to be thankful that her mind is functioning well, but you can tell that age has taken a toll on her.  Her agility is now challenged with a quad and a wheelchair.  There were moments she’d look into your eyes through her cataract glazed eyes with questions and hints of sadness over her condition.

She’s irritatingly repetitive and yet beautiful in her own quirky ways. She’s needy to the point of clingy but thoughtful in her own quiet ways. I get to lose my patience only because work supersedes the attention she desires.  There were (and still are) tug-of-war moments between work and her needs. The work-balance relationship (especially with my work in government) is a work in progress.

This trip to Tokyo wasn’t an easy one to arrange.  It’s cold, crowded, and transportation is expensive (no kidding).  I’m sorry (not!) if I blew my top at Philippine Airlines (on Facebook) when they decided to change the aircraft configuration two weeks before our travel! While airlines do what they do for the sake of profit, I’m pretty sure that if it was owned by the government, the airline would have gotten pummelled with all the insults on social media.

Arriving in Tokyo through Haneda Airport was the better choice.  The airport isn’t as crowded as Narita and it’s nearer to Tokyo than arriving through Narita. I arranged for a limousine from the hotel to pick us up. It would be impossible to travel on the train with her and our luggages filled with her pampers, her quads, and her wheelchair in tow in the cold winter!

This trip was all about Inang. As requested.

She had her photo-op with Hachiko.  Her crossing (on a wheelchair) at Shibuya at 9pm.  Her enjoying ramen in a quaint dining area where ramen was ordered through a vendo machine.  She loved the Muji shop in Ginza. Ate with gusto at Shake Shack in Maranouchi. Had snacks at Dominique Ansel in Omotesando.  Bought trinkets and souvenirs in Harajuku.  Enjoyed the cake and tea at Laduree in Shinjuku. Shopped relentlessly at Takashimaya. Watched the flurries from out hotel window on a cloudy Saturday.  And yes, see Mt. Fuji each break of day from her bedroom!

What did this trip teach me?

My mom is now old and frail. Whatever moments we can spend with her while her senses are still intact, will always be the goal.  We watch her move much slower now, as she needs more assistance when moving.  Doze off more often.  Eat much less.  It’s the sad reality of life.

As I write this first blog of the year watching the sunrise and Mt. Fuji from our room in Tokyo, with my mom snoring in the warm bed at 7am, I cannot help but smile and say, thank God for another year.  We made it mom!

This, is my Relative Joy.

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P.S. You may want to read about Inang in this link on my other blog.

“Do what is right”

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When President Duterte advised his son Paolo, the vice-mayor of Davao City regarding the latter’s plan to resign from public office, he simply said, “Do what is right”.

Doing what is right can only be achieved if one is conscious between what is right from wrong.  Having worked in the private sector before joining the government has made me aware that it’s more difficult to address the grey areas of decision making in the public compared to private companies.  When I used to be in the academe and the private sector, I scorned at every inept decision made by our public officials.  (I still do, but that’s a different story altogether.) The level of accountability is far heavier and higher in government compared to private corporations.

Today, I am more understanding, a bit more patient, and yes, working for the government for the last 11 1/2 months has provided the insight and enlightenment I needed.  Believe me when I say that describing the bureaucracy as “being complicated” is an understatement.

Government workers and officials work under the public’s microscope.  Everyone is your boss.  If there are skeletons in your closet, this is not the kind of job you’d want to be in, no matter how noble your intentions are.  As a public official, dirty linen when washed in public can be taken out of context, feasted upon by social and mainstream media, and your lives are not the same any more. More often than not, the public official is the bad guy and private Juan is the underdog.

Duterte is correct.  The stress is not commensurate to the pay.

Why then work for the government?

I’d like to believe the reason why many people work for the government is because they see the opportunity at improving each agency they serve.  Let’s face it, even the crocodiles we complain about in government are present in the private sector.  We just don’t complain as much when Globe Telecom fucks up our bills by overcharging us by P200 or when Citibank lets us know that beginning a few months from now, all credit cards will have annual dues or when Philippine Airlines decides to downgrade the plane and your original seat on Premium Economy Class is pushed to the back of the plane.  That’s because it’s easy for these private corporations to internally change the rules of the game, making the same crocodiles look like lizards.  Give the whining idiots additional perks or freebies and shut the mother fuckers up! That, my dear friends is how these companies fix their problems.  Unfortunately, the government cannot offer more than an apology and the promise to fix your problems because they are accountable to other agencies in the government.  Any free offer and it’s considered a bribe. Even good people are swallowed up in the complicated web of bureaucracy. There are no shades of grey in the government.  It’s either black or white. And fuck shit that!

Today marks the last day of 2017.  Reflecting on a year that was, we make resolutions for 2018.  Another year of change.  A chance to “do what is right”, whether we work for the government or for the private sector.  Or simply turning a new leaf with our families, our love life, our responsibilities and obligations.

Martin Luther King, Jr once said, “The time is always right to do what is right.”

Doing what is right.  Not what is easy.

 

12 Chapters, 365 Chances

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My followers on heavenpurgatoryandhell.blogspot.com asked why I stopped writing.

I never did.

I just moved to a new job that didn’t give me both the luxury of time and freedom to continue to write whatever I wanted to.  But that’s another story altogether.  An interesting one considering the fact that I can write and my stories have the ability to create a paradigm shift in opinion.

But let me focus with one story at a time.

This is not a migration to a new blog.  I’ve decided to keep the theme of this new blog simple by creating daily reminders on the dark humorous side to life, and balance it with a healthy outlook on inspiration and meditation.

I intend to intersperse my life story, and my daily thoughts on what I call Relative Joy.  After all, not all happiness we feel or think about, is truly joyous to all.  As the saying goes, “one man’s medicine is another man’s poison”.

The last entry I shared to the public in my other blog site was in May of 2016.

I did a couple of daily entries on my Facebook wall, thereafter.  I tried social media – Twitter, Instagram, to name a few, – but the limited space did not excite me as much as writing a blog did.

I realised that when I blog, I write from my heart and soul at an issue and share my opinions (good or bad) with the public. I call a spade a spade.  And stand by the principles and facts that I write. No drama. It’s why I miss writing, so badly. It’s so different from just tweeting or updating my status or telling people what’s up.

Last October 2017, it felt good to write a few paragraphs, post-hiatus.

As 2018 unfolds, I’ve thought about what my friends, followers, and yes, readers, say.  To write and publish.

….I have 12 chapters, and 365 chances!

And yes, I’m writing this also for you.

(p.s. I’m blogging on my bed watching the magnificence of Mt Fuji from my bedroom at the Cerulean Tower Tokyu Hotel.  It’s a wonderful feeling to wake up to this view each morning.  It’s awesome at how nature let’s us know the beauty of life.)