A friend of mine was sharing a “moment” with me.
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. The passion begins to heat up and while we’re almost at it, she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it. I just want to hold you. ”
I said, “WHAT THE FUCK?!?! What was that?!?!?”
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear. “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”
She responded to my puzzled looked by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am an not what I do in the bedroom?”
Realising that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep nursing a painful erection.
The next day, I opted to take the day off from work to spend time with her. We went to a nice lunch in a fancy restaurant and then went shopping at a very posh department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She was giggling with delight and seemed so happy. As a matter of fact, it’s the happiest I have seen of her since we got engaged. Then she said she wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes. I replied, “let’s get a pair for each outfit!”
Then we went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was sooooo excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think that she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “that’s fine sweetheart.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear. Let’s go to the cashier!”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped and all the clothes and shoes and jewellery fell on the floor and she screamed with a baffled, “WHAT!?!?!?!”
I then said, “Honey, I just want to HOLD this stuff for awhile. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”
And just stormed out of the store.
My friend wanted some advice about the incident.
I replied, “Apparently, you’re not having sex tonight or any night from now on.”
