The comeback lines

Getting even doesn’t do justice when you’re at a verbal tiff with a troll, or an imbecile.  Here are some great comeback lines  (I’d like to think they are intelligent insults) that you might find useful in your day to day musings and encounters with the people still fighting a lost cause (you get what I mean).

  • OH. MY. GOD! IT SPOKE!!!
  • I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
  • Who pissed in your breakfast?
  • If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a dog.
  • I’m sorry…was I supposed to be offended?
  • I would call you a retard but that would be insulting to retards.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • I would like to see things from your point of view.  But I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.
  • You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
  • I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that!
  • I’d slap you, but that would be cruelty to animals.
  • It’s pointless to make fun of you because it will take you the rest of the day or your lifetime to figure it out.
  • Awwww…it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
  • Who let you out of your cage?
  • Somewhere out there, is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe!!! I think you owe it an apology!
  • Too bad your personality doesn’t match your face. 
  • It’s scary to think that people like you are allowed to vote.
  • I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.  But I already thought you knew you were stupid.  Stupid.
  • 10,000,000 sperms and you were the fastest? Really?!
  • If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart!
  • Why don’t you check eBay or Lazada? Maybe they have a life for sale!
  • If I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I’d get change!
  • You only annoy me when you breathe!
  • Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick!
  • It’s kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence!
  • You fear success?!?! Dude, then you’ve really nothing to worry about!
  • Go ahead! Keep rolling your eyes!! Maybe you’ll find a brain back there!
  • I’m busy! You’re ugly! Have a nice day!
  • I neither have the time, nor the crayons to explain this to you!
  • The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana!
  • Go ahead. Shock me! Say something intelligent!
  • You bring everyone a lot of joy when you leave the room!
  • You’re the reason why the gene pool needs a lifeguard!
  • You are living proof that God has a sense of humour!img_5912

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