Relative Joy

I’m trying to choose “better” words to call out the nincompoops who need to go through a thesaurus in order to understand that I am writing about them.

I had an exchange with an informal idiot, otherwise called a troll, on one of the news posts on social media. Obviously, the guy had no idea of what he was posting. And it’s not just him. Like ignominious morons, they come in waves. Posting comments not well thought of, and usually without any fact(s) to back them. Memes without a basis is for the obtuse.

The post was regarding the 33rd Anniversary of EDSA. People Power had brought down the Marcos regime. It was time that the people behind Marcos and his family had stepped aside. History will always be on our side. They stole. They plundered. They were ruthless people who stayed in power for personal agenda. The Filipino people should be proud for achieving a bloodless revolution.

The news was a simple take on remembering the meaning of People Power. Why it happened. How it happened. Most of the key players have crossed over to the other world. Some of us who were there, who lived through the years of Martial Law, who were part of history, will always remember why and how People Power changed our lives.

That halfwit troll who I had an “exchange in conversation” was clueless on every aspect of the EDSA revolution. I did not expect much from the idiot. “It” probably was programmed to respond to those who opposed the Marcoses, who are trying to desperately make a come back into politics, more than three decades after their exile.

That halfwit troll claimed that the “yellows” destroyed the gains of former President Marcos and that the sad plight of the Philippines is because of the “Liberal Party”. The brainless argument of vacuous people like these can only be explained by the fact that they are stupid. Period.

I’ll make it simple for all the cretins out there.

Without the EDSA revolution, there will be no President Rodrigo Duterte. It was the unfulfilled promise of People Power that gave way to the rise of Duterte.

One cannot blame it all on the Aquinos or the “yellowtards”. I have never liked PNoy. But that’s a different story altogether. What is important for the imbeciles to understand is that there were several presidents that came after Cory. I will enumerate them: Fidel V. Ramos, Joseph Ejercito Estrada, Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, then PNoy. What the fuck did the rest of them do? So, yes. It’s not about the Aquinos or the Liberal Party. It’s about governance and accountability. So don’t distort the true facts with petty reasonings and give color to politics.

This is my second political post drumming up to the May 13, 2019 mid-term election. And I am writing this to all the empty-headed twerps who don’t have an ounce of patriotism left for the Philippines.

Thomas Sowell is right when he calls out at imbeciles who enjoy a sense of moral superiority in their ignorance. Accountability and moral fortitude is not part of their vocabulary.

I am using the words of Sen. Chiz Escudero when he describes the National Youth Commission chair Ronald Cardema’s view ascribing to the call of the latter to President Duterte to “remove scholarships of ‘anti-government’ students”. The rant of Cardema was all over the news. His battle cry regarding “the duty of every Filipino youth to become our hope, in strengthening our nation, and to fight those who are trying to crush our republic” was, and I will agree with Chiz here, obsequious. Period.

For the unfamiliar ignoramus’s obsequious means being obedient or attentive to an excessive or servile degree. Let me make it simpler – to be a lap dog. Ass licker. Subservient. Submissive. Slavish.

We have a lot of that nowadays. Like an epidemic of zombies from a bad movie, they propagate idiocy to a core. These appointees lacking a moral compass think that government funds from taxpayers are theirs to dictate and control!

When the campaign period started, all the dogs were released from the kennels. Seriously, I’m trying to weigh in on who to endorse (and vote) this upcoming May 13, 2019 elections. So yes, this is one of a few of my political posts.

The local elections will always be a battle with the uneducated and the poor. That’s the reason why every city “maintains” a large poor population. They are useful every three years. Like a bad cancer that needs to go through chemotherapy every so often, the local elections is an exercise in prolonging the lifespan – of the sitting politician (and his/her family). These informal settlers are the lifeline of local politicians. They propagate like malignant neoplasms and engulf on even the rights of legitimate city dwellers. They deliver the votes to a never ending dynasty. It takes more than moral fortitude to change a local leader.

The national election on the other hand is a different story. Just like electing the president and vice-president, local voters will have more difficulty in swaying the outcome. And this is where it gets tricky.

Many are elected not out of merit but out of popularity. The polls (if we were to believe in them) offer a paltry reflection of the pulse of the “nation” for the senatorial posts.

It isn’t surprising that you get plunderers, liars, and actors at the top of the heap in the surveys. Blame it on Ricardo Dalisay and that pathetic series “Ang Probinsyano” to even push candidates to the realm of political comebacks. I have nothing against anyone who wants to run for public office. It is, after all, a free country.

But the criteria why someone is voted into office because he is “handsome” even though he has plundered millions in taxpayer’s money behooves me! It is fine if we get one or two of these idiots every 100,000 voters. Unfortunately, like minions, they multiply disproportionately. Thanks to the teleseryes and other brain draining shows that transform the multisynaptic neuronal discharges of Filipinos to monosynaptic ones.

Others turn a blind eye to acts of atrocities committed by previous regimes. The writing is all over the wall. Yet even educated nincompoops don’t see through it. Why? Because they all fulfill the criteria for being sycophantic. Like leeches feeding on each other, these political animals will suck on anything that promotes their lifestyles. Yes, Mr. Juan de la Cruz, at the end of the day, it is about money and their political survival. It is never about the Filipino people.

I am writing this as a prelude to the upcoming election. Only we can change our destiny as a nation. And if we still have enough pride left as Filipinos, we will not let these unctuous selfish bastards get their way. We need to collectively work harder at educating our fellow Filipinos. To make everyone understand why it is more important to watch the senatorial debates rather than “World of Dance Philippines” because the nation’s future stands to benefit more from an insightful and perspicacious electorate rather than an armchair judge of entertainment.

Only we can write history. And write it well we should because many generations depend on it.

My mother was recently diagnosed with colon cancer.

It was not a diagnosis we were all prepared for. Even as doctors, most of us shrug off dealing with the Big C, until it hits close to home. In this case, the woman who gives my relative joys in life.

We spent 10 days in the hospital. Surgery was imperative. At her age though, recovery – both psychologically and physically – would be challenging.

From a first person perspective, I cannot tell you how gruellingly stressful those 10 days were. The tension and lack of sleep were expected. The anxiety was the icing on the cake. Many things race through your mind. Many questions fill your quest for answers. The most important one is WHY…

I chose to write this on Valentine’s Day, in order to remember how much love she has unconditionally shared in her lifetime. I will always be grateful to the woman who has taught me resilience and strength, honesty and kindness, love and gratitude, forgiveness and faith.

The Big C is a family affair.

It is a life changing moment.

A realisation of our mortality.

When you are diagnosed, it’s like having a stopwatch automatically turned on. Time is ticking. Often times, I tell myself how quickly the day has passed. Another morning. Another evening. Another week. Another month. Another year. Most (if not all) of us fail to appreciate life in full until the countdown.

I thank everyone for the outpouring of prayers and well-wishes. It is different when someone dearest to you is afflicted with the emperor of all maladies. It becomes a waiting game.

Medical science has no concrete answer to cancer. Chances, odds, risks and benefits suddenly flood your mind. To heal often. To comfort always. Where does one find an answer to anxiety in the midst of depression? Even with surgery and adjuvant chemotherapy and how medical science has remarkably changed the landscape of survival, like a thief in the night, cancers will always fight their way back. It is, after all, their survival as well.

No one gives up without a fight. Yet it is difficult to accept our mortality but it is there. Laid upon us on a silver platter.

There is no easy acceptance of fate and how the story turns out or ends. But we will make moments where our relative joys in life will be most cherished. And each day now matters more than ever. Because the light at the end of the tunnel can now be seen…

I’ve always said, we’re all going to die one day. The only difference is when and how…

I thought of writing about vacations, and how we spend them and whom we spend it with, after a post from one of my friends on FaceBook. Traveling with children is the ultimate challenge (I think there should be an episode of Amazing Race where there are toddlers with the couple. That would be a lot of fun).

It read:

How to make traveling with a toddler easier:

Step 1: Leave your toddler home

@TheMommyConfessions

So here’s a scenario when going on vacation, especially with children in tow:

1. Going on vacation is best enjoyed when one is on an authentic break. Strictly speaking, a vacation or holiday, is a leave of absence from the regular routinary activities. It is for recreation, relaxation, recharging, refocusing, and yes, even for tourism. Basically, we need to enjoy and cherish that “moment” guiltlessly. So what’s the use of going on a break with a toddler in tow if all you’ll be doing is taking care of the toddler and not enjoying the sights, sounds, and the other recreational activities of that vacation? Do you even remember where your parents took you to when you were 2 years old? So here’s the deal – leave the toddler behind and go on that trip you’ve been planning after your delivery! You deserve it. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about leaving orphan Annie behind. As long as you have family that you know will take good care of her (or him) when you’re enjoying your margarita in a beach somewhere in Bali…GO!!!! You need that break!
2. I have parents that relentlessly ask how to “sedate” their children on the flight. There’s the good old diphenhydramine. In the majority, it does the trick. Then again, because of either the excitement or fear of the new environment, the child may not respond to the sedating and anti-anxiety effect. So you’re on a plane, in economy class, pushing back from the tarmac holding two kids on your lap, on your way to New York from Manila. One of then starts bawling as the engines are revving up and the other starts kicking on your lap and holding his ears when you start to ascend. Your nightmare has just begun because you’ve just taken off and you have another 16-18 hours on this flight. Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that some of them start throwing up all over you and the floor and aren’t even toilet trained yet at that age. Your other child wants to go to the toilet but breakfast is being served and you’re a million miles away from the toilet (because they put the parents traveling with children at the bulkhead) and the meal cart has just passed them when your son suddenly feels the urge to take a leak. The toilet for economy class is all the way to the tail end of the plane! Then leak he does – all over the floor! And you’re only 1 1/2 hours in the air. As you drag your child to the toilet, turbulence ensues and you’re asked by the pilot and the crew to get back to your seats. The kids start crying and screaming. You’re holding on to the kids, the tray of food at your seats, and the seatbelt sign doesn’t go off until an hour later. Fifteen hours to go…welcome to hell! Where the hell is that rivotril?!?!
3. Finally, you get to your destination. You get off the plane looking like part of the baggages that are being thrown around. Vomit on your shirt, shit on your pants, milk in you socks! And you smell like turd as well. But it’s fine. You made it this far…you’ll make it anywhere…or so you thought! And the immigration officer isn’t really too happy with how guys look like coming off a plane looking like you and your kids were came from a war in Afghanistan. So he asks a million questions on why you’re here, how long you’re staying, what are your means for staying, who are these two runts joining you, why are you staying for 3 weeks, how will you handle the children, how many baggages did you bring, do you have work, what do you guys do, do you have relatives…and so on and so forth…while one of the kids is dead asleep in your arms the other toddler is just unsteady at his place….AND YOU REALLY NEED TO TAKE A LEAK!!!
4. The immigration officer finally lets you and your family go through. You rush to the toilet and have the family wait for the baggages. All the baggages on the flight are now out. It’s just you, the kids and the wifey that are left standing on the carousel belt. You have 3 of the 4 luggages you brought with you. The baggage that’s missing are the kids!!! Their meds, the milk, other bottles (I don’t know why they’re still bottle feeding, but yeah…it’s typical for Filipino kids to still bottle feed till they’re 7 years old!). Day 1 doesn’t seem to be coming together. It’s going to be a stressfully long vacation…and your wife looks at you and tells you that you should have just stuck to plan number 1! Leave the toddlers behind…
5. As you settle in to your BnB apartment, your 2 year old has a temperature of 40 C. And you’re quick to your fingers on your mobile phone calling your paediatrician at 4AM (in Manila) panicking on what to do. I get patients like that. Worst is that some of the parents come to my clinic a few days before they’re leaving with the toddler having a very bad cold and slight fever. I tell them that if he or she is still sick on the day of departure, they need to stay behind or cancel the trip. You should see how the parents look at each other then GLARE at me imagining how evil my suggestion is! Give us an antibiotic but we will need to leave. The tickets have been paid (bought at a vacation madness sale). The accommodations are all settled as well (no refund clause checked!!!). The visa is a one time entry good for 30 days!!! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!! GIVE MY CHILD PARACETAMOL AND IBUPROFEN ROUND THE CLOCK!!! WE ARE GETTING ON THAT PLANE TOMORROW!!!

I have very little memory of my days as a toddler. I can’t even recall where my parents took me when we I was 3 years old. My mom would usually tell me when we’re on a trip somewhere, this is where we first had that delicious barbecue that people rave about. And I shoot back and say, really? Like that was three decades ago!!! I don’t even remember that we had barbecue or the view of the place. All I see is SM to the left and Ayala Mall to the right!

I get it when we want to go on vacation with the whole family in tow. I think it’s a fair advice that when we go on vacation somewhere near (like a local road trip), it’s okay to bring the whole clan along. It’s a different story when you’re leaving on a jet plane to a far off destination. The farther the trip, the more you need to leave the younger kids behind.

As a general rule: kids who are not bottle feeding and can eat on their own, have a sense of responsibility and appropriate behaviour, and do not need too much care and attention on hygiene and health are ready to travel with you on your family vacations. If you have no one to leave the children behind, plan a small local vacation. Never base your family vacation on an airline sale! All advertisements are enticing. But that’s the marketing arm taking hard earned savings!

While it is the company that matters, you need to make it as enjoyable as possible for EVERYONE! So don’t believe all that bull crap on bonding and memorable moments with all the kids in tow or that Dr Seuss “valuing the moment until it becomes a memory” one liner. They’re not the ones bringing and taking care of the toddlers with them in that next vacation to never never land! (Unless you have extra cash or extremely wealthy, you can take the au pair with you on the travel!)

You need to tailor-fit each vacation for the place and the people traveling there. I don’t think your 2 year old would actually want to see the Mona Lisa at the Louvre! Or that you and your wife would fancy another tiring 3 days meeting and greeting Mickey and Donald.

There will always be a time when all plans will fall into place and make that dream journey a truly memorable one.

In the humdrum and bustle of life, there are days when we look for solace. A place where the pause button stops time and reminds us why we live and what we live for.

It used to be that social media was one of the places where we shared our joys, triumphs, successes, worst days, tears, and losses. We stayed “connected” because it was a place where we believed, no matter how distant our friends and relatives are, digital technology has kept us only a touch away.

That was then…before the trolls came. Before the disruptors invaded our space and privacy. Where inappropriate behaviour and language became a norm rather than the exception. Where cursing and bullying on-line has become a standard for propagating a culture of hate and anger. Our children have began questioning our teachings and asking more (or less) questions because of what is “shared” online.

Social media platforms, while an avenue for relative joys in life, has dramatically changed. Today, it has become a platform for political and personal agenda. To say that the well is poisoned, is probably a rough description of this scenario.

As half of the first month of 2019 is over, I challenge everyone to devote the next 60 seconds to meditate and ask yourself the question, “how do I focus to achieve finding a quiet place in my life for the remainder of the year?“

At every crossroad in life, we take a leap of faith when deciding the road we take. Often times, we procrastinate at turning a new leaf because we fear that it isn’t time to let go or we remain complacent in our comfort zone or that we’re probably too old to shift gears. The question we need to ask ourselves is not how our photos look like in 2008 compared to 2018. You can sift through all those photographs and post the ones you like from a decade back and look good (better) on your profile picture. But that’s selective bias. It’s what’s deep inside you that truly matters. Are you in a better place? Are you happier today than ten years ago? What were the things and events that mattered or didn’t matter at all? Have you left the baggage of regrets in your life or are you still lugging on to them or treasuring them like the masochist you are?

The mind is like water. When it is turbulent, it’s difficult to see. When it is calm, everything becomes clear.

– Prasad Mahes

It is a kind reminder to everyone (including me) that anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.

This year, I am looking forward to finding more quiet places in my life. Somewhere where I can find myself once more and walk away from people and situations that threaten my peace of mind, self-respect, values and morals or self-worth. Somewhere where in the midst of life’s many storms, it is tranquil.

The start of the year is always an opportune time to reflect on excess baggages of the past, learning to let go, and moving on.

Sometimes we have to let go of what’s killing us, even if it kills us to let go.

Letting go is often a painful decision. Moving to a new work environment. Seeing a dearly beloved depart untimely. Bidding goodbye to friendships and relationships. Burying the past is emotionally and physically draining.

Yet letting go can be a liberating and exhilarating feeling as well. We learn to accept that things are just not meant to be. Life after all, is meant to be lived today.

If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

– Paulo Coehlo

Life is the biggest classroom. It teaches us that we need to let go of what’s not there anymore. As Maria Kondo would put it, what does not spark joy any longer. When one lets go, one should not look back. Remember, whatever the past was, there should be gratitude in that moment. We become stronger, and hopefully, learn to pick up from our mistakes. Be grateful for the joy shared.

Be kind to yourself. The people and events in life are simply pitstops to our final destination.

Marie Kondo has become a household name lately. She’s a tidying expert and consultant who began her business in Tokyo when she was only 19 years old. She is the author of the New York Times best-selling book, “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”. Netflix launched a TV series last January 01, 2019 entitled “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo”.

I enjoyed the Netflix series more than her book. Unlike other TV shows or series on “make overs”, Kondo encourages her followers/audience to be responsible for the cleaning process in their homes. And I tell you, it’s not a quick fix. The house doesn’t get torn down and voila you have a more modern home in your midst within the week. You don’t get extra help here except from probably your partner. And that’s what makes the show (and the book) so different. You don’t let someone come and remodel your home. I didn’t realize that all those books, papers, clothes, food stuff, and other miscellaneous items were actually CLUTTER in my home.

The take home message was basically “keeping only the things that spark joy“. At first I thought it was weird that you’d meditate across your home, feel the ambiance and begin to see what needs to get tidied up. Or that I’d be thanking inanimate objects before parting with them.

The KonMari philosophy on organizing your home is akin to organizing one’s life.

First, it doesn’t tell you to change things in one swoop. As a matter of fact, you’ll need to mentally and physically prepare for this challenge.

Second, you’ll probably learn to appreciate more when you’ve completed the whole process of de-cluttering whatever is scattered in your home. I remember when I was clearing up my work room, I kept asking myself how I accumulated so many receipts and didn’t even bother to throw them away? Seriously, some of them dated all the way back to 2007!! After the clearing operations, it ended with three XXXL trash bags to shred!

Finally, when you get to the end of the task, you end up appreciating the whole process of organizing and downsizing. Those that did not spark joy, I let go freely and easily – to the shredder!!! Those that were memorable and had sentimental value, I placed aside in a nice box. I would rearrange them one of these days. You really don’t know what you’ll unearth in all that “trash”. And you’ll end up being more aware of all what you hoard.

So yeah. I’m joining the bandwagon of the clutter-free world. Who would have imagined that tidying up would give us back so much joy in our lives? The whole process has made me embrace Kondo’s philosophy. The following day, when I saw all those bank statements and statements of account from BPI, I told my help “ayan na naman yan. Sila ang talagang dapat turuan magtipid sa papel!” (There they are again. They should be taught how to save on paper!)

I’m a fan. And literally decluttering our lives, from the daily grind to the daily angst, is liberating.

If I can tidy up my house and make it feel more a home, then I can learn to declutter my life.

It’s a wonderful feeling.