Relative Joy

There are just days where kindness has no place in the universe.

Today was one of those days.

My mom had asked me to go to the supermarket, the nearest is Robinson’s Supermarket at Madison Galleries, in our neighborhood.

Every time I go to this supermarket, I need to remind the cashier for the senior citizen/PWD lane, that the lane is a priority for them. It’s disappointing that both the supervisor and the other employees of the supermarket simply look the other way when there are people who are not seniors or have a disability queueing this lane and the senior citizens having to queue at other lanes.

I went up to the supervisor and loudly (yes emphasize on the loud), reminded him that it’s my nth time to remind them that:

(1) there is a sign that says that there is a priority lane for the seniors and disabled. They emblazoned that on the very large sign. Why can’t they follow it? Or is the cashier clearly an ignoramus?

(2) if they just put it up for compliance with DTI requirements, and they cannot follow the sign they put up to the letter, just take it out!

There were two young girls on the lane snickering and I told them that they’re either stupid, uneducated or blind! If you can’t read it, you don’t have a right to even flash a debit card to pay for your chips and Gatorade. Their parents ought to be ashamed of how they brought up these imps.

I write this to remind everyone that there are signs for a purpose. It’s not just because you’re in the Philippines or you live in an exclusive subdivision and pay with a debit card, you think you can make your brain cells melt and feel entitled. There is a reason for signs on the street, in the malls, on the walls, in the supermarket, in the toilet…it’s for you to read stupid! The signs are not suggestions! You don’t plan on following the signs then f*ck you! Don’t complain about the way the government is run when you can’t even discipline your own backyard.

There’s a jerk born every minute. And they come in various forms. But for the establishment not to follow what it preaches, well, I think there’s something very wrong with the hired help.

Sometimes there are just things that need to be said. Because often times, stupid people deserve that.

There are just too many morons in the universe these days.

A friend of mine posted this and I am sharing it with everyone.

Often times I will not show how grateful I am but my gratitude is overflowing for the multitude of blessings in my life. After more than six decades of existence, I don’t blow candles to make wishes anymore. To say that my cup is over-filled with joy because of family, friends and acquaintances is an understatement.

My life journey is made up of rollercoaster rides. I have felt the pangs of hunger, the sadness of solitude and the disappointments in failure. To be where I am today was not an easy climb. There were days when you wondered if principles could be exchanged for an extra meal on the table or a temporary material joy. But because I sleep better in the evenings with a clear conscience, I will always choose to embrace good.

While there are days of despair and frustration, there are good ones as well. Whichever is the overwhelming one, dictates our mood for those days. We cry. We get angry. We laugh. We grieve. We complain. We are, after all, human. When it is not right, we have the right to express our grievances, so that mistakes are corrected and justice prevails. We cannot take everything sitting down and leaving it to our God to exact vengeance or a come uppance on. There are just situations that need a normal human reaction – and not simply walking away.

Yet with whatever drama life provides, there are a million and one and more reasons to be grateful for. Our daily bread. Our friends and family who share our joys and pains. Another sunrise or sunset to experience. Another day to be grateful for in spite of it all. Each morning, we get to create a new beginning in the chapters of our life.

Let’s not forget that in this world,

Someone else is happy with less that what you have.

No one wants to write about death. Or dying.

To many, it’s not only a morbid topic. It is taboo to talk about it.

Of course we’d rather talk about the joie de vivre in our daily chronicles. It is, after all, what sparks joy.

Death is a stranger to this world. Until it comes knocking at your door.

For most of us, we go through the routines of daily living – Eat. Pray. Sleep. Love. Hate. Work. – Repeat!!!

But life is never fair. And neither is death.

Those who died yesterday had plans for this morning.

And those who died this morning had plans for tonight.

Don’t take life for granted. In the blink of an eye, everything can change. So, forgive often and love with a full heart. You never know when you may not have that chance again.

When we make plans in our life, death is never on anyone’s bucket list.

After all, no one prepares for death except those who are terminally ill. They’re actually the lucky ones. Those taken in their sleep or who die tragically, leave behind a family or loved ones who will never be able to say their final goodbyes.

No one knows exactly when our time in this world is up. Here today, gone tomorrow.

The last six months were brutal and painful. Many people who were very close to me had passed on. Death was on the doorstep each month. While we grieve at the loss, there is a bit of joy in the closure of pain and suffering. It takes the sadness of life, to appreciate the beauty of death.

If there are two things that are permanent in this world, it is change and death.

Nothing in life is promised except death.

– Kanye West

There’s something about love that makes everything different.

Many things mark us as Christians and as Catholics: the sign of the cross, our liturgical celebrations, our churches and places of worship – all inspired by Scripture and tradition. But at the heart of all this and what holds all things together is the commandment of love: love of God and love of neighbor; love as Jesus loved us. Without love, all things fall apart.

When I read those lines, it struck me how much as a Catholic nation, these very reasons to love – both friends and enemy – are quite challenging these days.

The last few months have been heart breaking and gut wrenching for me and my family. And as I look around my relatives and friends, they too have had their own ups and downs. But the struggles are real. There are days that you feel like giving up.

These trials in life are but part of our journey. And our little triumphs in spite of those bad days couldn’t have been possible without love.

Love is what keeps us grounded. Humble. Faithful. Prayerful. Grateful. Forgiving. And most of all, together.

In this world, without love, nothing matters.

May 13, 2019 Philippine elections was a turning point in the politics of Filipinos.

The midterm exercise of voting for national and local leaders was (and I would like to believe, still is), an exercise of the democratic rights of the Filipino people. My political analysis was spot on. In spite of its Herculean efforts, the opposition would not win a national position. Any sitting administration would be rendered a lame duck when they lose a midterm election.

Social media isn’t where the election battles are. It is where the scars of friendship and miscommunication remain. You cannot educate the masses on issues of laws and rights by chastising them. Politics is like a game of chess. You need to think a hundred steps ahead of your opponent. In silence, you defeat your opponent. A great chess player always takes into consideration your next move. He wins by taking the king. Not by taking the other inconsequential pieces on the board.

I will not talk about how this election fared and how it came to a devastating loss for the opposition because in reality, it did not fail us as a people.

That silver lining is seen in more productive, progressive and educated local governments where the once stronghold of the mighty dynasties have fallen. For the first time in decades, the people used their votes wisely to bring down politicians and their relatives who have made a business out of the political arena. When people have the determination to change anything, they will make a concerted effort at achieving that goal on their own.

You see, in this world, the majority will always have a say. The minority will remain a voice to be heard. The process of convincing people to take “sides” will always be a difficult one because we see a devil while they see a savior.

But one thing I am sure and a millennial had proven that in this world, everything is possible.

Everything ends. Every empire, dynasty, regime. Every period has ended.

– Mayor Vico Sotto

In a democracy, we have the opportunity to change history. After all, no one remains king forever. Every story has an ending. It may not be what we want, but yeah, everything ends.

The most important day in the year in the Catholic or Christian Faith is Easter Sunday. The 40 days of penitence, fasting, and abstinence all lead up to the glorious occasion where our Lord Jesus Christ who after suffering and dying for our sins once again rises up from the dead to live forever, fulfilling the prophecy that one day He will rise to be with the Father.

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal and a new life.

We need to remember that is spite of the Good Fridays in our lives, there will always be Easter Sundays.

Easter teaches us one thing: Life never ends. And Love never dies.

Easter is an affirmation of an underlying love that never ends. No matter how many sins committed, or mistakes made, or how many times we suffer from illness, injustice and persecution – Easter reminds us of hope in the midst of despair.

For every Good Friday of our lives, let us be resilient and hopeful because our Easter Sunday’s will come in due time.

I have one sibling.

Younger than me, she is the epitome of resilience. Widowed at 30, she literally raised two children amidst the challenges of being a single parent.

We grew up like best friends. Shared each other’s secrets, heartaches, successes and failure. One thing for sure that bonds us together is Inang. In the life of my mom, my sister and I form the yin and the yang. During my mom’s last hospital confinement, I probably wouldn’t have lasted the stresses without the help of the other half – my sister. Truth be told, while my mother looks to me in times of need, there are many times that I am jealous that she loves my sister more. I frustrate easier and am less patient on the stressful things life throws our way.

Yes. Sibling rivalry will always be there whether we are 1 or 100 years old.

We’re a small family. We travel together. Celebrate life and love together. Cry together. When one is at his or her lowest point, the other one manages to lift the other up. When we’re all at our emotional high, we’re all celebrating like there’s no tomorrow.

And family is all I can ask for. The other half – my sister – will always be special to me in more ways than one.

And this bonding time with family because of Inang’s illness has made me realize that 60 years later, we’ve always had each other…through thick and thin, through weddings and funerals…through laughter and tears and we will only have each other at our twilight years.

Thank you sis for being self less and being my one of my relative joys in life.

And happy birthday! I’m hoping you like your gift!

We’re back in Tokyo.

One and a half years ago when we were here, my mom had one request. If we did come back, could we see the cherry blossom in full bloom? I replied, of course!

After 12 years of spending our New Year vacations out of the country, we decided to change our travels last New Year.

In Japan, cherry blossoms are called Sakura. A special flower symbolic of spring – time of renewal and the fleeting renewal of life!

Cherry blossoms have been regarded as a symbol of spring since the Heian era (794-1185), and this has been woven into the cultural consciousness of Japan.  Cherry blossoms, otherwise known as Sakura, are a symbol of a new start and are special flowers for the Japanese.

Turning 82 this year, the diagnosis of colon cancer didn’t come as easy acceptance.  Understandably, who would want to be diagnosed to have a neoplastic disease at the winter of their lives? After all, they’ve lived full lives. My mom is a simple woman.  But a vain one. She values quality of life over quantity.  In spite of her physical and emotional illnesses, here is a woman who will always make sure that her eyebrows are equally lined, her clothes equally match her bags and shoes, her meals served hot and her family happy together.

Over breakfast a week ago, she was looking across the nook and I broke the silence.  I asked her what was on her mind.  She replied.  “How long do I have to live?” I was stunned.  That question had taken me aback. After a few minutes, I replied.  “I don’t know. No one knows when time is up. Only God makes that call.  In His time, mom.  In His time.”

She shed tears and replied. “I am tired. And I’m very sad lately.”

I told her “I understand.  But our life goal isn’t to be happy. It’s to make sure we live a fulfilling one.” I held her hands and added, “you’re a great mother.  I couldn’t ask for more.  You’re a difficult person to live with…but you’re one terrific friend.  When the time comes that we need to say goodbye, I promise to let you go. In the meantime, we have some unfulfilled dreams.  So let’s just try to make great memories while we still can.”

After her surgery last February 4, 2019, I never realised that I would be talking about end of life with my mother.  What I didn’t realise most was that I would be given the chance to walk with her through this new challenge in her life.  And I am grateful.

Hope springs eternal.  And Sakura, the symbol of spring, brings hope to new lives.  I will always remember that after the dead of winter, life like a cycle will always have spring.

So here we are. Back in Tokyo during the Sakura festival.

Hopeful. Grateful.

Loving new beginnings…

Everyone cheats. Or has cheated. Or will cheat. In our lifetime. So, yes, honesty is not part of the core DNA as human beings. In fact, that’s our frailty.

Whether one is being dishonest about love or money, politics or entertainment – life can be one shit bag when it comes to living up to the principles of integrity.

And I get that.  As good people are, and should be, we need to try hard to live a life of honesty, integrity and responsibility. That should be our mission in life.  Otherwise, we end up as turds who try to rationalise every time we lie, steal or kill.  We end up being no better than the devil who offers the world in exchange for our souls.

As a rule of thumb, when a monster is our idol, many may not see the monster because we rationalize our idolatry. We blindly follow and believe false and empty promises. Until the monster invades our values and our lives.

Value formation is essential in every family.  It is the core essence of raising people upright and virtuous. Right-thinking. Principled. Law-abiding. Irreproachable. Lawful. Ethical.

To be a good human being. That should be our goal. No matter how much unkindness there is in this world.

Honesty is a cornerstone of ethics.

While we cannot demand this virtue from each and everyone of us we can try harder to be better people, even if some of us grow up in environments that make us believe that the trait of honesty is a lot of hogwash.

My friends and I may be on separate sides of the political spectrum but honesty, integrity and love of country should always be what we honor. Politics, after all, is a temporary void in the journey of a country.  Only if we learn to be more patriotic can we move on as a proud race. A great nation.

A little bit of scruples goes a long way in healing a divided people.

“ It is not the criminals who arouse the hatred of others, but the men who are honest ….”

– Jose Rizal, Noli Me Tangere

The campaign for the upcoming May election started weeks ago.

The opposition is promoting its platforms through debates. The administration candidates are doing it through entertainment.

From the perspective of an idealist (or they prefer to be called intellectuals), a debate should probably be the way to woo votes. But the strategist will always have the pulse of the people at bay. And the ratings will always tell you that name recall is always best achieved through cavalcades and dole outs.

It is a no-brainer why the people running in the upcoming elections only show the side which they are abreast of. Any form of engagement in a meaningful debate will always be ignored as frequently as possible. After all, in a captured audience, the skills of singing and dancing, laughing and cajoling, will always be recalled by the electorate during Election Day. Regardless of the capability of the politician(s) to govern or not.

Some voters have already made up their mind who to vote for. The sorties will just need to target the undecided. And that’s where the political strategy lies – in making the undecided choose them. Either through an intelligent discourse of issues that matter or a sortie of entertainment numbers so that the unaddressed promises are swept under the rug.

The bottom line here is getting the votes where it matters. Even if it means lying through their teeth.

80% of voters belong to class C, D and E. The marginalized need to realize that they are the stronger majority and that their concerted effort at changing the system lies with them. Many of those who belong to class A and B have affiliations of some sort to the those running for public office. After all, they will have most to gain by supporting a candidate. The well-to-do have the means, connections and machinery to make or break a politician.

And so the president has amped his tirades against the opposition for the mid year election. And for a reason. It is without doubt that many administration candidates demonstrate a dire shortage of intelligence and/or have nothing forthright to bring to any form of verbal tussle. Their pure lack of perspicacity have relegated them to simply showing their best foot forward with entertainment numbers and the president leading the circus.

I recall three years ago, on cue, during the presidential debates, Duterte had made magnanimous promises on changing the landscape of this country. Those promises were a tall order, but he stepped up to every debate table thrashing out promises after promises – either in amusement or in sincerity. And change did come.

The mid term election is an opportune time to reflect on the gains and losses of this nation and its people. The kind of leaders who we want to lead us through trying times. The promises made, delivered and the empty promises each campaign period.

The next three years matter.

And it’s not just about singing and dancing. Because aside from death, the only other permanent thing in this world, is change.

If you want to change the way our congress and senate is working, you have to change who you send there.

Let us do what is right. It is time to send the entertainers a clearer message that the circus is over. And that the country is back in business. We need to gain back our dignity. Our power. Even one vote at a time.