Month: February 2018

Yes

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You remember the first proposal? It may have been in a quiet room just the two of you or it may have been at an odd venue at the most unexpected moment. Doing the most unexpected to hear the three-letter word from the love of your life.

Some of us go to the extent of adding a wow factor to the occasion. From something as simple as proposing under the moonlight or for those who have the means, at a chalet in the Alps on a beautiful winter morning.

Ours was a concert for Mariah Carey 15 years ago. It came as simple as it could. After dating more than a few months, we decided to take it to another level.

I’m sure most of us are suckers for “happily ever afters”. We fall in love with love itself. Which may be both a good and bad thing at the same time. Good thing if the love story has a happy ending. Bad if it’s a temporary yes and plans fall apart eventually.

Falling in love is a wonderful feeling. But it doesn’t mean that we fall in love just because we need to. Or saying yes because of the sexual attraction.

It’s a beautiful reminder than saying yes is committing to the relationship come hell or high water. It’s during the worst of times that the relation is tested and surviving those worst of times make these relations end with #forever stories.

What’s your love story?

The letter my dad would have written

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He passed away at an early age. 59. Gone too soon. And gone too quickly. There were no long goodbyes. It was a quick and painless passing.

I’m sure if he had the time to say his final farewell, he would have written this:

To my loving wife and children,

I will be gone soon. Sooner than you would all have imagined. I am sorry that I won’t be able to celebrate many other occasions especially seeing my grandchildren grow up to be good, God-fearing, and respectable people in society.

To my wife, thank you for being there for me and taking care of me after my stroke. I know that it was difficult to carry the burden of having to suddenly become the breadwinner in the family. I’m sorry that I needed to go ahead earlier than you. But I will always watch over you and will wait for you. Some day, we will be both together again. You will always be my one and only. I love you so much.

To my children, I have accomplished what I needed to as your father. There were days that we may not have been together, but I needed to provide for all of you. I know giving you the best education even when I needed to borrow money for tuition was the best decision I ever made in life. I am proud of what you have both become.

To my daughter, I am sad that your husband had passed away earlier than me. And it pained me deeply to have been sick when you were at your lowest point in life. But you are strong like me. Take care of those beautiful grandchildren of mine.

To my son who never wanted to be a doctor, thank you for taking on my dream. I am proud of who you are today. I will be gone soon. Take care of everyone whom I will leave behind. They will be your responsibility now.

I love you all. It is painful for me to say goodbye. And so, I won’t. I’ll make you all remember me by quietly going in the middle of night while you’re all asleep.

What I leave behind will be the memories and the love we all shared. Take care and respect each other. Fight the good fight. I raised you all to respect your dignities. Your character will be your defining moments.

Until we meet again,

Dad

The single life

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There are people who prefer to remain single. Their life. Their choice. Their happiness.

There’s really nothing wrong with wanting to stay single. You get to do what you want, when you want to, where and how you want it done, without having to be accountable in a relationship.

Many jump into a relationship not out of love and commitment but because they think that being in a relationship is the norm. One should not get into a relation just because of the need to.

“It takes a strong person to remain single in a world that is accustomed to settling with anything just to say they have something.”

It’s important to remember being in a relationship isn’t all about the good times alone. You roll with the punches as well. So if you’re looking for a relationship in a magical world it’s best you stay single.

So is being single so bad?

We just need to embrace what we have decided to be in life. Live life the best you can. Love is found in the people around you and these are the small joys we often take for granted.

Being single has its own blessings.

Dear Carla and Charles

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How time flew. And how you’ve both grown into wonderful adults. You may not be perfect in all things, but to me, you’ve done yourselves proud. And that is enough perfection for me. And your mom.

The circumstances of your growing up is a million miles different from the “ordinary family”. The extraordinary circumstances of our losses in life was a painful pill to swallow for all of us, and your mom mostly. But the story of our lives needs to be celebrated and shared because in spite of these circumstances, we all did just fine.

With the early passing of your dad, both families needed to pull together. Kudos to your mom who needed to raise both of you in the dual role as father and mother.

I am writing this for you to remind you of family and the ties that bind us together. Your growing up years were the most challenging. Emotionally and financially, we were now all providers. I don’t write this to say that you owe your family anything. It is out of love that we provide. And out of love that we will sacrifice for your future. All I ask is that someday you pay it forward.

We’re all proud of who you’ve both become today. A friendly advise from someone who has been on the road less travelled. Don’t be afraid to chase your dreams. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s impossible because all things are possible. Go for it. I will be here to catch you at that worst moment in your lives. Most of all, don’t forget the virtue of humility. Stay grounded and focused on happiness in the journey to the goals in life.

One day, you too will have your own family. Treat them well. Be the inspiration to their lives. And most of all, write your stories and help people write theirs. The chapters of your lives may be their book.

Love always

Unkie

Love letter to my sister

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Do you remember the time when we fought like cats and dogs? I think it’s normal between siblings that there’s what they call “sibling rivalry”. I think it was more of attention-grabbing than anything else. It was weird that we really didn’t fight much as we were growing up. Weirder that we had only each other to run to when we had problems. Weirdest that even as siblings, we shared more of our world than other families would.

Yes. As we grew older the challenges in life became struggles. In hindsight, these struggles made us stronger. Made us closer. Made us believe that even as a small family, we can overcome many things despite the difficulties life threw at us. The scars are visible, yet they serve as our reminders that we fought hard. And we fought well.

It was ironic that you found a Christmas card I gave you 29 years ago.

I know that the passing of Edward was difficult particularly when you were pregnant with Charles. We were all devastated with that loss. As a family, we overcame the uncertainties and well, God provided, and the kids are now grown up and living decent lives.

You’ve accomplished your purpose and perhaps, I’ve accomplished mine.

I still keep my part of the promise. Because we’re family. And Family is all about love.

I am writing this for you, to remind us that resilience in times of adversity can win. And there are small victories in our relative joys in life.

And I’m sharing our story so that others can believe in the magic of discovering happiness even during the worst of days.

With much love,

You and I

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You ever had that feeling that the moment we met there was a connection so strong that we were drawn to each other in a way not felt before? Over a period of time, I felt love so deep and strong, yet complicated. In you, I have found my soulmate.

One thing for sure is that we’re two opposite poles. The yin and the yang. With you, I’ve learned to understand the depth of the word “complicated”. I on the other hand was always “predictable”.

I never say things I’m not sure of. But the day I said “I love you”, I was sure. And when I said it, it wasn’t because I wanted to hear it back. It was because I meant it.

I never commit to things I’m not serious with. The day I said “forever”, I meant that too. When I said it, I wasn’t waiting for a “me too” reply. It was a commitment to spending my life with you.

I’ve seen you grow into a successful and beautiful person during our 14 years together. And while we’ve had our ups and downs, you’ve also given me reasons to laugh and smile. Those memories I will always cherish.

You’ve totally pushed me harder than I would have myself. And taken leaps of faith when I am unsure. I’m still unsure with a lot of things. Even at my age. But I know you’ll be here when I need that shoulder to cry on or miserable moment to share with.

I can’t promise to be here the rest of your life, but I promise to love you the rest of mine.

Thank you. For everything.

Love,

Love letter to mom

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Dearest mom,

It’s been quite awhile that I’ve sat down and thought about where life has led us today. I know that I’ve been busy and we’ve both gotten older. We even share greying hair and wrinkles already. The reason I decided to write you a love letter is to let you know that in spite of the weirdest, roughest days of my daily grind, I never stop caring for you.

I know that there are days that you’d tell me that you’re old and useless already. It pains me that you tell me that you’re most useless because of your difficulty in walking. Or that you’re not being able to cook for me my favorite dishes any longer. Or that you’re unable to run errands for me like you used to.

It pains me to see you depressed and lonely during most days or dream of bad things or simply wait for the maid to assist you when you need to move around.

We all wish that everything in life is “what it used to be”. Reality is, it’s not. Life is a cycle.

When we were born, I know you and dad were overjoyed at having a baby to take care of. After another year or so, my sister came along. And we became a handful. Life did not come easy for a young couple to raise us. But hey, you need to pat yourselves in the back because you did a good job. We didn’t turn out so bad after all.

I’m grateful for everything you’ve done. I want you to know that! The arguments and discussions will always be part of a healthy discourse in the family. Without them, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

For the love you so unselfishly shared during my highs and lows in life. For the moments when I just needed a hug. For the days when I had a shoulder to cry on. For the years of hardship you carried so well in spite of the challenges in life.

I am writing this for you because I want you to remember that I will always be thankful for everything you’ve done for us. The least I can do is to repay that unabashed love you so generously shared through your sacrifices is through my own way of caring for you.

And while my memory and your memory are still intact, let me express my profound gratitude.

Thank you for being my best friend.

I love you to the blood red moon and back. 💖

Chapter 2 – Love Stories

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There are different forms of love. And each has its own story to tell.

During our teenage years, our growing hormones dictate to our bodies the kind of relationships we long for. Everyone knows what it’s like to fall in love. Be loved. To suffer heartbreaks. Love after all, is a choice we all make. Oh I’m not talking about the platonic love here. It’s the one that brings giggles, smiles, comfort and security. It’s the kind of love where choices are made, consequences happen and we pray that it ends in happily-ever-afters. Or not.

Some of us are just hopeless romantics. I for one had a few relationships before settling down. We all fall in and out of love for the wrong and right reasons. In a relationship it’s never always about you alone. It’s always about us. And many relationships or attempts at relationships fail because we forget why we exchanged “vows”. We chase the wrong things.

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

Over time, we forget that the relationship we forged is about making each other better. In a relationship, there is no more “I”. It’s always “we”.

The battles and challenges in life are no longer personal because somehow, someone will help us get through the tough times. The good times will be cause for celebration.

Trust. Fidelity. Truth. They are all essential elements of every relationship. It’s important that we keep these in mind in our journey to forever after.

It has been quite a ride on the roller coaster of love. I’ve had my highs and lows. I hope you like my love letters this month. I’m writing these for you.