There’s an interesting poster regarding things one will never recover in life.

Life gives us over a billion lessons to learn from but only a few should be remembered well.

These opportunities are difficult if not impossible to recover at all. The most important of them to me is trust.

Whether it is love, professional or political scenarios, the deal breaker of trust is the most impactful.

When truth has been distorted and trust is lost, that’s the deal breaker. Nothing will ever be the same again. Ever.

Once upon a time in a land of make believe, there’s the story about a Princess who thought that all the decisions she made were the right ones because it pleased her.

She was never a princess. Her childhood years were difficult because growing up years proved to be rough. She struggled hard, but life threw tomatoes at her. Everything she touched was peachy at first. When people knew the real her they had second thoughts. She had beauty and charm and over time her life had improved. As she worked her way up the ladder of success, fame and fortune, she began to carry more baggages in the journey because she trampled on peoples feet during the climb.

One day, she met her prince in shining armour. She was showered with travels, jewels and the promise of a queenly life. She thought her life was to be a fairytale promise. But the fancy life in the palace was an illusion. Soon the money began to dwindle. Then the family problems of the prince started to grow into her. And the glass tower began to crack. The princess found herself no sooner than where she was back to – a life plagued with emotional and worldly problems. Her bitterness at the world became dimmer. Her paranoia and distrust worsened. Her once closest friends were now her biggest enemies. You see, the baggage she carried on her shoulders were always with her throughout her journey because she thought that she would use those excess baggages to get back at the people who she thought had wronged her in life. The princess had never let go of misery.

What is the moral of the fairy tale story?

Things don’t turn out the way we want for a reason. We sometimes live in a dark place or experience the worst of our times not because it’s a punishment but a cross we carry. Of course, not everyone deserves a cross to carry. But these crosses in life are meant to make us stronger, not bitter. Scarred, but survived. Better human beings, not monsters.

We need to carry on in life no matter how difficult it gets but sans the excess baggages. These heavy burdens of guilt, fear, pride, anger and hate should be left behind during our challenging journey. As we move on in life the less burden we carry, the less heavy our load. The less heavy the load, the kinder we treat people. Humility has its way of bringing back the good aura in our lives.

Sometimes we just need to do the right thing or trust the right people, and keep our hopes up that someday, all the wrongs done will eventually turn out right, and we get the happy endings we dream of.

As for the princess in the story, despite the many second chances she has had in life, she will have third and fourth chances over time.

That is true of our lives. We all have a princess in our life. Leave the baggages of hate behind. The journey is lighter that way. It’s also a happier one.

Temptations are always beautiful.

If temptations came with an ugly presentation, would we even accede to it?

It’s a good food for thought. We learn from the bible that even the temptation of Jesus Christ was delectably laid out on a silver platter by the Satan. The devil in the bible is proof that the devil is alive and continues to offer man the bounty of material possession and power in exchange of his soul. It gets clouded by us in many forms. Let me put it bluntly. The more beautiful the temptation the more difficult to resist it.

When your principles are compromised or you’ve had that defining moment to even slightly pause and wonder if the temptation of looking the other way from evil or wrong doing is worth it, only you will know the answer.

I chanced upon a short post and I’m writing this for you because it summarizes the five important things when making life decisions.

1. WHO you are is what makes you special. Do not change for anyone.

Do not let anyone have their way or bully you into being subservient to the point of being held stupid for the actions you take on their behalf. There’s a time and a place knowing when to give in and when to say NO because it is not right, not fair, and not just. Only creationists will think that the world was made for them. That thought is self serving. People who are busy at creating and living in illusions are best avoided.

2. WHAT lies ahead will always be a mystery. Do not be afraid to explore.

A friend of mine once said that he drew up a bucket list. And he was 55 when he drew it up! It’s never too late to explore anything in life. Tomorrow will always be a mystery and the good part is to love it & live it! Life is beautiful. Learn to smell the roses as we travel the difficult roads. We will learn to appreciate life more this way.

3. WHEN life pushes you over, you push back harder.

There will always be tomatoes thrown your way. Don’t take it personally. Sometimes it’s a wake up call. You probably crossed the line. However, if you didn’t deserve the tomato, pause. Breath in deep. Reflect. If you still feel like throwing back the tomatoes to the jealous bastards, do it! It’s nothing personal as well.

4. WHERE there are choices to make, make the one you won’t regret.

Every choice made is our responsibility. Being accountable for the choice is a sign of maturity. Whether you choose good or evil, make the choice where you sleep better at nights. Karma after all is such a painful payback.

5. WHY things happen will never be certain. Take it in stride and move forward.

Because we don’t have a crystal ball, tomorrow will always be another day. Living in the anxiety of tomorrow isn’t a good thing. Other people’s problems are not yours to bear. Let them play their own dramas. If the seas get too rough, keep your eyes on the compass of your goals in life. That should serve as your handy guide on how to weather the storms on your travel to your destination.

I once saw a sign that said, “haters f*ck off!” Well yeah, there’s too much drama among haters in this world. Someone who hates you normally hates you for three reasons:

1. You’re seen as a threat.

2. They hate themselves.

3. They want to be you.

All these reasons boil down to one thing. Lack of self esteem. These are people who are seriously emotionally damaged. Their life stories are not only pretentious but pathetic as well. They have so much hate within them because of a miserable past where they were used, abused and abandoned.

I have seen people rise from the storms of their lives and create beautiful life-inspiring journeys later on. But not all survive the battles well. Some of these “survivors” are left deeply scarred because friends and family abandon them during these lowest points of their lives.

What do you do when you hit rock bottom? We all get up. How and whom we get up with is the crucial game changer in the equation. The haters are born out of this process. These haters embrace all the envy and attitude the cosmos throws their way. They put up defense mechanisms in order to survive. Then they build a world according to paranoia. Finally, they channel all the resources or survival and paranoia through bullying the weak and helpless.

Once the bully has evolved, it becomes more difficult to handle them. Bullies travel in cliques. They have the same mantra – you’re a threat, they hate themselves, and they envy you. The vicious cycle of hate, envy, insecurity in a bully or a bunch of bullies is destructive to everyone.

No one deserves to be treated like sh*t. More so by a lowlife called a bully. They don’t need pity or love. But one needs to recognize who and what bullies are.

Bullies are on survival mode everyday. They do what they do for self protection. They are manipulative. Humiliation, intimidation and isolation are the only means they know in order to cope up with their lack of self esteem. From the glass tower bullies build, they lead very sad lives. A life built on fantasy and illusion. They crave for power and use power as a tool for doing what they do over and over again. Vengeance over people who have disappointed them or will potentially disappoint them is the main goal.

“Bullying is a dysfunctional addiction that society is now recognising and insisting that it is no longer acceptable.”

Haters will always be everywhere – in the workplace, in a relationship, in school. It’s not okay to be bullied. Allowing that means you allow yourself to be disrespected.

Each time we allow ourselves to be abused, we place ourselves in a dark corner. Remember, one day you will get out of that corner. But escaping scarred and hurt isn’t the story you want to tell. You want to tell the story of having fought well because it wasn’t okay to allow the hater to have his way.