pet peeve

The gym (b)rat #PetPeeveStories

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(Some language used may be inappropriate and are used for emphasis only. Parental Guidance is recommended.)

The gym is one of my favorite hang outs. Exercise, after all, is one of the key elements to staying healthy. The benefits of regular exercise include:

– feeling happier (with the release of endorphins)

– helps with weight loss or staying fit

– increases your energy levels

– keeps your bones healthy and tones your muscles

– reduces risk of chronic diseases and improves cardiovascular health

– maintains a healthy skin

– helps maintain your mental health

– improves your sleep and helps relax

– reduces pain and improves overall well-being

We all know these benefits and best of it all is that it slows down the aging process.

While the gym is a healthy environment to be in, there are just people who make it a stressful place to be in as well.

Etiquette in a gym is important because it’s a public space. There are other people who share that space with you.

Here are my peeves and my take on etiquette in the gym.

1. Sanitize

Since you’re going to sweat, make sure that you bring a towel and wipe off the sweat you make all over the equipment (and ask the gym for a mop if you sweat all over the floor as well). It’s a good advice that you bring your own towel even if the gym you go to provides you with towels. After all, no matter how the gym washes their towels, you don’t know how clean their laundry services are. Incidentally, all those warts on your skin are most likely from sharing towels.

2. Don’t hog the equipment

Being considerate with other people who need to use the other equipments is important.

If you’re a marathon runner, you probably owe it to yourself to buy your own treadmill. While running is a great fat burner, there are other exercises as well that will help you burn calories.

Don’t park in one equipment especially when you’re taking a call (leave the area and let someone use it first). And make sure that you alternate with others on the equipments. Ask nicely if you can do one rep. I’m sure they’ll always say yes.

3. Bring back the weights

Okay. Fine. So you’re a bodybuilder and you can carry a million tons. Who gives a shit if what you loaded on the barbels are left behind after you use it? I most commonly see this behavior among the teenagers who show off with their peers on who is able to lift the heaviest. When the group is done, they just leave the weights lying around. I usually sidle up to them and tell them firmly – kindly return the weights you’ve scattered to where they are placed.

Once you’re done with the equipment, remove all the weights and put them back to where they belong. Remember – others may not be able to lift as much weight as you do. And leaving some of the barbels on the floor is a recipe for an accident to happen – just because you were too lazy to bring it back.

4. Let others use the weights during your rest period

I mentioned about parking your ass. Well parking the dumbbells by your foot and holding to it for dear life while you’re resting is being rude.

Remember – the reps you do in a weight training program are shorter than the rest time! Why waste everyone’s precious time when we’re all paying the same gym fee? If you want to be treated like a king, go build your own gym!

5. Don’t drop the weights! (Unless it’s an emergency)

Usually this happens if you’re carrying more than what you can. Show off!

These bad things can happen to you when you drop the weights unnecessarily :

– damage the weights and the floor

– accidentally injure other members and yourself

– you can really annoy other members in the gym

Unless you’re going to die in front of everyone, don’t drop the dumbbells.

6. Do unto others you would want others do unto you

Do not blabber on and on to others. Make the conversation light and quick. Not everyone wants to be conservational while working out. The gym is NOT a golf course. This is not the right place to close deals.

Don’t give advice to people unless they ask for it. They may know more than you and may get offended by your “advice” and think that you’re trying to hit it off with them.

Don’t stare! Even if you’re ogling because you find them attractive or envious of their progress. Your staring will not make your body better.

Don’t forget to help people when they need it. When you see someone struggling with the weights, don’t think twice and just help him/her. Don’t look like a snobbish bitch and pretend that you didn’t see the person right beside you has dislodged the 200 pounds barbell. I’m sure you would want the favor returned if this happened to you.

7. Go to the gym like you’re on a date

Dress appropriately. Not like a slut. For guys, wear a jockstrap or underwear and don’t workout commando or freeballing. If s weird and it’s lascivious.

Smell nice. You don’t have to smell like a pimp or someone who took a bath with a gallon of Victoria’s Secret body wash. Just smell nice. Make sure if you have body odor, please paint yourself with all that deodorant. If you can’t smell yourself, I’m sure you can tell when people at the gym avoid you like the plague once you enter the pristine gates.

Keep your cellphone turned off or in mute always. No one wants to hear your Voltes V ringing tone and your blabbing at the top of your voice screaming at your wife who forgot to pay the bills today.

Even if these behaviors don’t get you banned or thrown out from the gym, observing them will end up in unnecessary confrontation with the guy who can lift ten of you over his head.

(p.s., It’s really not nice to lurk in the locker room and make conversations with your friends while your eyes are darting left and right at the other people undressing or be called a pervert!)

The coffee shop is not a library #PetPeeveStories

kidatheartLeave a comment

I usually have breakfast with my BFFs on a Saturday. This pet peeve story is about the coffee shops and those inconsiderate people who are bad for business.

I once had a conversation with a coffee shop owner and we talked about these people whom we will call “lurkers”. They are people who hang out in coffee shops, buy a cup (or mug) of coffee, set up their laptop, iPad and chargers! and hang out practically the whole day. They lurk around the same coffee joint – answering emails, texting people, editing videos – yep, they set up their office right there!

RULE IS – The coffee shop is NOT a library. Nor is it your office space. Perhaps some entrepreneur would want to open a co-working office space, more commonly called a Launch Pad, that serves coffee and meals but the space occupancy is charged BY THE HOUR!

I know that this concept has gained ground already in some areas of the Metro. It allows you to rent “space” and hold “meetings” and “workshops” for an allocated period of time in the confines of a “launch pad office”. Which I think is a great idea because that way, the use of the space is legitimately paid for. These launch pads also serve coffee and meals and allow you to bring your own food!

Coffee joints like Starbucks, CBTL, Seattle’s Best, Manila’s Best, and so on and so forth, have tried to avert those who abuse the coffee shops and turn them into a work station or office. One or more of the following were done:

– remove all outlets near the tables or chairs

– no complimentary WiFi unless food or coffee is purchased AND WiFi access is for a limited time only

– no toilet access unless you purchase a drink or food (the pin code is on the receipt!)

– redesigned their furnitures so that they are not comfortable for meetings OR for work or study at all.

Unfortunately, the customers only got wiser – brought their own WiFi sticks, battery packs and I bet, even wore diapers to the coffee shops!

What irks those of us who’d like to enjoy the food and company of the place is that when you get to these coffee/café joints, there’s no space to sit and eat! There’s a table for four but there’s usually ONE student or warm body occupying the whole space with his laptop, iPad, books and writing pads all over the two tables! Or someone who occupies a corner station that’s fit for six people but she’s alone and has her foot up on the sofa area with a cup of coffee and book in her hand. No chance at getting a seat there!

I’m not sure if these coffee shops were actually designed for these purposes, but honestly, it’s such a waste of space. There are other people who can dine there and a lost opportunity for the diner because there were people who just were inconsiderate of other people.

We need to understand that there are no “waiters” in these types of joints. It’s pay as you order and sit anywhere.

RULES ARE:

1. Be considerate of other customers AND of the business of the coffee shop. During the busy or peak hours, get a table good enough only for your physical space. This should not include your gadgets and other school or work stuff! Others are there to eat. Not to study. The coffee shop is not a library.

2. If you need to set up a meeting that will last 2 hours at least, rent a space at a Launch Pad. That way, you get your business done more efficiently without people who are starving glaring at your group.

3. If you’re planning to put up a coffee shop, aesthetics is not the major factor for it to profit. Practicality is. Have tables good for two people only. You can combine OR split up the tables as needed. If one person happens to take up too much space on a table combined for 4, go up to him firmly and say, “excuse me, do you have others sitting with you? If not, can we use the table and chairs?”

You can have the swankiest place but if these “lurkers” park all day there, you’re not bound to last 1 year in your business.

The coffee shop industry is just a phase. Losing higher paying customers to people who hang around the place with a mug of coffee for the next 4 hours will take a toll on business. Imagine if we were a party of 4 and would spend 1000 pesos on a 40 minutes breakfast vs the student who spent 100 pesos on a cup of coffee (and had a sandwich in his lunch bag) who parked there for 2 hrs, how much would the coffee shop lose in a day? Let’s all be considerate and think of making everyone enjoy that cup of coffee!

Mean girls #PetPeeveStories

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I’m having a quiet lunch and behind me are a group of teenage girls. A squad of mean, very mean, girls.

I could not help but overhear and listen in to their rude conversation.

They were talking about

– the size of the male “appendage”one of these mean girls was going out and described how “stupid” the boy was because he had curfew from his parents and that he didn’t even smoke or drink alcohol

– why one of their classmate needed bashing from them because she was showing off how intelligent she was at class; not making others copy during an exam; was such a lousy dresser – and they agreed to make fake “people” so they can stalk her and say mean things about her (and you thought trolling was only for political use?).

– how they should spend the money one of them was able to get from her mom’s drawer (No way you did that? Yes, I did and I think we better get out of here and go watch a movie then I’ll make the driver buy us some wine and beer and we can go to my place because my parents are out and won’t be back till Sunday!)

What struck me was the fact that they’re less than 16 years old (I can tell because I know one of them but I don’t think she recalls knowing me) and what spewed out of their mouth were cruel words.

They were talking at the top of their voices. Perhaps wanting other people to hear the filth they were saying. The sad part? They were mean and had no remorse.

Mean people or bullies are everyone’s pet peeve. Unless you’re a masochist, there will always be a bunch of misfits out there trying to plot against you. (Read: online trolls who just comment and bash just because…)

Whether it is the workplace, school or even at home, meanness is a symptom of weakness and act of cowardice. They instill fear in you because they are brought up in the same environment, believing that harassment is a form of strength and survival.

RULE IS – When we allow mean people to get away with bullying us into coercion and fear, our consent is a reflection of their victory. Learning to say NO is half your victory won. Nothing is fair in this world because we let it.

The late Mr Juan de la Cruz #PetPeeveStories

kidatheartLeave a comment

I am a tickler for time. I cannot stand people who do not observe other people’s time. It is rude because it is a total disrespect for another person.

My friends and foreign colleagues would always ask me, are Filipinos always late? I’d blush, look at them in the eye, and bravely retort, “well I’m on time.”!

It’s not okay that we get branded as a race that’s known for being perennially late.

When you go on a date and have to wait for your date for 1-2 hrs, and you’re texting or calling like there’s no tomorrow because you’ve got it all planned out and the restaurant only accepts reservations, it’s anxious to figure out if she’s coming or not. Because she seems to be running soooo late you’ll end up having dinner at a drive through. Isn’t it such a bummer?

When you make an appointment with someone at 8am and he waltzingly comes past 11am just because he had something “urgent” to do is irritating. It’s not like this appointment was all about his day. You’ve made your day fit into his and it’s but proper that he keeps your appointment as your personal appointment with others will get affected as well. Perhaps you can let it pass if this was the first time, but it doesn’t seem to be that way after your 5th meeting.

Late is late. There is no good excuse for coming late when an agreed time had been set. Whether you’re a government agency or a visa processing center or a health clinic or a school or a spa – it is not good practice to be late. Always.

Rules are:

1. If you’re running late and it’s a valid reason, kindly inform the other person you’re meeting up with. Send a text. Make a call. Shoot an email. Let your secretary know so she can let the other party know.

Remember – the anatomy of disappointment are expectations!

2. Keep an appointment book. You can even jot down your appointments on your calendar in your phone and turn on the alarm reminder! If you don’t know how, ask your friend this feature. If you refuse to learn this feature, throw away that smartphone and get a life!

3. Apologize profusely when you’re late. It’s your fault after all. And don’t make it a habit. It’s not appropriate to believe you’re the queen and you can get away with being late for anything if and when you want because in reality, you are NOT even a queen. Entitlement is not a right to being late.

And when you’re tardy, make sure you apologize profusely! Bring her flowers or take her out to wine and cheese…surprise her day! After all, it’s not been going too well for them, having to wait for you.

Let’s learn to be more conscious of other people’s time and our time as well. All that wasted time, after all, is counterproductive in life.

The freebies #PetPeeveStories

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We all have friends. And we abuse them. Say it. “That’s what friends are for.”

In the medical profession, we practice a courtesy of “not charging” a professional fee to our colleagues. I have no idea how that started, but it’s in the Philippine Medical Association’s Code of Ethics. (Maybe someone can let me know it’s history.)

The medical profession (like many professions) is not standardised when it comes to charging professional fees. The latter would depend on how critically ill the patient is, any special procedures needed, the complexity of the illness and so on and so forth.

This pet peeve story is not about professional fees (although I know that it is for some). It’s about the ones we charge to experience. The NCs – relatives, friends, colleagues and those minions who ask for a discount just because…

1. Returning the favor

It is an unsaid rule that as a “courtesy”, we don’t charge our colleagues or their immediate relatives. That’s because it is an honor that a colleague has picked you to be their doctor. When your colleagues are willing to put into your hands their health and lives, then you must be a good doctor! A respected one at that! And that’s how you can tell that the doctor you’re seeing is the best – your colleagues defer to your judgment call.

And you deserve a pat in the back.

I prefer to settle the professional fee. But it’s not going to happen. So I will now have to find a suitable “gift” as a token of appreciation.

RULE IS – IF you’re going to give someone you owe your life and health to as a token of appreciation, kindly put some thought into the gift.

It’s rude to give something that looks like it’s been recycled gazillion times. Those who have less in life and whom we waive professional fees out of the kindness of our hearts, have simple but well thought of gifts. I know that it’s the thought that counts but giving a “token” that had expired in 2016 with stale moss growing inside the box is taking the “thought” a bit too lame.

2. Extended families

I am amused at how some people introduce themselves by name dropping other doctors names. Like I’m the niece of the mother-in-law of Dr. So-on-and-so-forth. Or, you know my cousin, Dr. X? Uhmmmm yeah. Who is he/she?

Name dropping is a common Filipino trait. I’ve not seen it in other Asian countries except among Chinese. Yes! Your read it right. The Chinese have mastered the art of name dropping and its rubbed on like glue to the Filipinos.

RULE IS – NCs are up to the immediate dependent relative only. Anyone away from that (second, third, fourth, nth degree) and their neighbors or barangays should be charged the full fee.

I don’t understand why we need to give discounts to their “relatives” just because of affiliation and relation with a doctor. And that holds true with employees of hospitals where you work. The employees are gainfully employed. We do not run a charitable institution. We pay our taxes, rent and dues. There are incidentals like secretaries wages, electricity, water, security, office equipment, calling card, supplies, prescription pads, to name a few, that need to get paid. And it is not fair that other people who have less in life are shouldering the NCs of those who have more. That’s Economics 101. You need to have a rule for whom we don’t charge. Otherwise your clinic would be running a medical mission everyday. But think about it. Even medical missions will need resources!

Be grateful if your doctor extends you more than his/her professional courtesy. Don’t forget to say thank you, because that’s really what we all want to hear. (A well thought of gift is appreciated. And yes, it’s the thought that counts.)

3. The godparent discount

And it’s okay to say NO. There are patients who I don’t even know from Adam or Eve. I’m appalled by the fact that they come up to you and matter of factly ask – can you be the godparent of our son/daughter? Uhmmm….who are you people?

Filipinos always say that it’s bad to turn down an invitation to be a godparent. Well I tell my friends, to hell with that! When you don’t really know the people who ask you to be the godparent of their child, it is polite to turn it down. After all, you really don’t know them!

RULE IS – You’re not obligated to waive the professional fees of your godchildren. You can give them a discount (a huge one if you wish) but the services rendered shouldn’t be charity. Especially if they make you their godparent so that they don’t need to pay for the healthcare of their kids!

4. Star struck

Yes the stars have doctors too. But like all stars (and high ranking government officials), they want to be treated special. The star struck phenomenon is a stark reality. Many of them (especially the two bit ones or the co-starring) are such a pain. They want to get seen ahead or they have a preferred time or excuse me, do you do home service?

I pay to watch your entertainment and pathetic commercials. You earn much more than I do. I mean, have you seen their houses in the magazines?!? My house would look like their garage or storage bin in their homes!

Or personalities flaunting how much taxes she has paid in the last year?!? Or how many commercials they’ve made?!? We get the message! Money isn’t a problem. You want privacy and you can pay for home services.

RULE IS – if you need to make house calls (and I wouldn’t mind doing that at all), make sure you charge an arm and a leg. They can well afford to have you close down your clinic for the day, they can very well pay your professional fee for that block of hours you spent on the road and away from your clinic.

But there are those who are suckers for stars. I have had several personalities or “important people” who I’ve seen once or twice. And they don’t return. Why? Because I don’t acquiesce to the request that they be seen ahead of everyone else. And yes, I charge them. Just like all my other patients. After all, he/she who has more in life, needs to share the largesse.

Nothing in life is free. Gratitude to services rendered is highly appreciated. And true gratitude is all we ever desire.

Which goes to the last point. The bureau of internal revenue (BIR) will never credit back the freebies you give. How will they charge 5 kg of fresh shrimp that is paid, for services rendered? When patients cannot pay, and we simply brush off the professional fee, does that get deducted from the “losses” for the year? The last time I know is that financial liabilities should be considered when computing for annual taxes! These little intangible yet practical economic considerations should be factors when running a professional clinic so that we can charge patients fairly and equally.

Services rendered. Services paid for.

On public displays #PetPeeveStories

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[Warning: This post may not be appropriate for children as it may have some profane language used in order to drive home a message. Reader discretion is highly advised.]

A few months ago, while walking to work, a woman was a few steps ahead of me. She started to clear her throat, then cough a bit, and you could tell that she was getting ready to hock up that mucus because you could hear her gurgling throat and spit was about to explode from her mouth. I increased the pace of steps, went right beside her as she was about to spit out that rich mucus on the corridor floor (there was no garbage bin in the hospital corridor) and said to her in a low but firm voice

Huwag mo idura yan sa sahig, lunukin mo yan!

(Don’t you dare spit that on the floor. Swallow it!)

And she was startled, looked at me and literally swallowed her spit. And I walked away.

And here are my top pet peeves on violations of public display:

1. Spitting

I hate it when people spit all over the floor, streets, alleys…wherever. I just think that spitting anywhere in public is rude.

In the Americas and European countries, spitting is a form of rudeness. According to health officials in these countries, spitting is a wonderful way to spread disease. And is seen simply as disrespectful of public sensibilities and space. We all need to use these public spaces so let’s leave them saliva free. Even in public parks. And no, your spit is not fertiliser.

That includes the snot expert. Yes. Those people hanging by the streets and pressing one side of their nose and blowing all snot into the sidewalk. And repeating the process with their next nostril.

Rule of thumb – Bring a small pack of tissue everywhere you go, especially if you have a post nasal drip or you’re coughing. Cough or spit into the tissue and throw that into a bin. It is rude to riddle the public spaces with all that spit and snot. If there is a law against smoking in public, there should be a law against sharing snot and spit all over the archipelago as well.

Do not use a handkerchief!! That’s just as gross blowing snot and spitting up, folding it and shoving it back into your pocket and then reusing it again later! Ewwww!!!

2. Pissing

Yes the male penis that’s wagged all over the poles and alleys and walls and trees and vacant lots! The Filipinos have the largest toilets in the world. Pissing in public should be a crime! Aside from the public display of that useless tool, it’s a wanton disregard for health in the community.

In my daily commute, I get appalled that there isn’t a day (or road I travel) where I don’t catch some guy pissing on the street. I mean, yes, I get the fact that your bladder is about to explode and that you need to take a bad piss. Notice that the women don’t piss on the streets. They too have to take a leak but they’re able to hold on to it until they find an appropriate place to discharge their urine.

The MMDA (metro manila development authority) once had a project of placing urinals (for men only) in various areas of the street. While I thought it may address this issue, it was stupid as well. Why? Because they placed it right in the middle of a sidewalk. So now our sidewalks have both vendors and urinals for men to piss on.

Rule of thumb – It is not right to piss anywhere you want to. Public property is public exposure. If someone takes a picture of you holding that useless penis with your face smiling after releasing all that pent up yellow liquid and uploads it in the internet (yeah, kinky right? Look at the porn sites, your face may just be there!), you have no right to sue or complain. After all, you are violating a lot of laws.

3. PDA (public display of affection)

Call me prude but I feel that an over display of affection in public is waaaayyy beyond acceptable. Some can say that it’s a “norm”. To me, a norm is when you say goodbye, hug and give a peck or tender smooch on the lips or cheeks. Not when you slather each other’s lips and French kiss in front of minors. Then it gets weird when carried a bit further with all those hormones going awry, and it doesn’t get cute any longer. Instead it becomes repulsive and disgusting. You need to make sure that your partner is okay with having your hands all over his/her body because your PDA may be treading on very thin ice.

Rule of thumb – There’s a lot of sites on the internet that has an opinion on PDA. In short, it is not right to be fornicating in public. There is a show of affection and then there is soft porn. You need to be able to distinguish between the “awwww” moments and the “ewwww” moments. If you can’t, I suggest that you get a room (or just do it in the car if you’re a cheapskate). It’s never okay to show too much skin and saliva in public.

4. Why do Filipinos hate to queue?

A few weeks ago, I needed to get a couple of documents renewed – drivers license and passport to name a few. Unlike some people who have “connections” in government agencies, I always choose to queue. (My friends always tell me I can flash my ID and I would be ahead of the line. It’s a bad example for others to “show off” just because…)

It took me 3 1/2 hrs to renew my passport (even though the renewals are by appointment only) and 4 hours to renew my drivers license (when I arrived at 730am, I was already number 38, as it was a first come, first serve basis). Understandably, the government internet systems are always down. Especially at the LTO. The system had to be rebooted four times when I was queuing for a picture taking AND the fingerprinting (a.k.a. Biometrics). Which means, whenever you need to renew important documents, you’ve got to be absent for a day (or two or three at worst)! But the mayhem during the queuing process was incorrigible! There were people who just arrived and wanted to be at the front of the line! And of course there were those who just appeared and were dandily escorted to the front! (This had all of us glaring and staring at her and her entourage.)

You need to prepare for that day.

Rules of the hands:

– Wake up early or get an early appointment.

– Have a hearty breakfast or get some food in a drive through.

– Bring all the necessary documents and please make a checklist the night before.

– Charge the battery of your phone and your battery pack to 100%. Download 2-4 App Games on your Smartphone (everyone has a Smartphone nowadays)!

– Go to the toilet before attempting to queue. So you don’t have to keep going out of the line and keep asking someone to hold that line for you.

And you’re all set for that dreaded appointment for document renewal. If everyone did this, there would be no irritating moments at any place. But why is it that Filipinos don’t like to queue?

Even in a line, you will see that instead of quietly moving forward, the heads peer to the left and right or that they get fidgety because the queue is too long. I overhear people complaining when they arrive considerably late, that they need to be first because they have an appointment. (Duh! I don’t give a shit even if your appointment is with the president or Satan. There’s a queue. You just arrived. And you expect to get ahead even if you’re number 230 and they’re only serving number 40?!? No. You don’t have preference.)

You see, that’s when I really get pissed. When some prima donna waltzes along and feels entitled, I want to slap the idiot with my bag. Or take a picture of this scumbag and make him/her famous by posting it on all social media sites.

There are moments when display of discipline and proper decorum are mandatory. After all, good manners and right conduct are bred from the home. And your actions speak about your breeding.

Going up? The elevator #PetPeeveStories

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We all take the elevator on most days. And my patience is ultimately tested in this cramped space, where the ride can be your most patient or angry moments.

My take on elevator etiquette. If you feel alluded to, sorry. The following are NOT appropriate when taking the lift. The general rule of thumb is BEING CONSIDERATE with the people inside. If you don’t want people staring or glaring at you when your highness steps in OR out the tiny cramped space, here are the rules:

1. Remove your backpack when you’re inside the lift

The space is cramped already. Boarding an elevator with your backpack at your back is occupying extra space. What’s worse than an indignant person with a backpack on his/her back is when he/she keeps moving around and the backpack is swinging at the other people. If someone smacks you, you deserve the smacking. Oh yes. That includes those carrying those large bags (and we don’t care if it’s an Hermès) that are bigger than a luggage. Please make sure that it’s not on your arm but held down in front of your legs with your hands stretched downwards.

RULE IS – when boarding the lift, remove your backpack and keep it between your feet. Being considerate of other people is mandatory.

2. Fold those baby carriages

When a disabled has to occupy the space because he/she is in a wheelchair or crutch, they have the priority. Not the babies! If you need to take the baby, fold the carriage and carry the infant. If he’s already a toddler, wake him up, make him walk or carry him and if there’s an escalator, take the escalator. The carriage is meant to carry a person and not your shopping stuff. The carriages are space occupying lesions.

RULE IS – fold the carriage before stepping into the lift. If you’re in a building that has an escalator, fold the carriage, carry the baby, take the escalator. The disabled have priorities in using the lift.

3. Face the front

It’s weird that you’re facing people in the elevator. It’s never right to stare at each other’s face. When in a lift, everyone should face the door. It allows you to step out of the lift at once when you get to your designated floor.

Don’t board the elevator when you’re going the opposite direction. Like when you’re going down, you take the elevator on the 7th floor when it still has 15 floors to go. It’s rude. You’re wasting space that can allow others to take them to their designated floor.

Looking at the door allows you to assess when it is time for you to step out of the lift.

RULE IS – after entering the lift, turn around, face the door and look straight. No groping or touching body parts unless you’re a pervert.

4. Last floor in, first floor out

If you’re heading to the uppermost floors, stay at the back of the lift. If you’re getting off at the lower floors, stay in the front area. When it’s already full, take the next lift. Don’t make everyone feel like sardines in a can. Move to the side when the doors open for other people to get in. Statues are not allowed inside the elevator.

RULE IS – last floor inside, lower floors near the door. Move for other people when the door opens or closes. If it’s not your floor and you’re at the door, step out of the lift when the door opens and let the people out. Be considerate. No statues inside the lift please.

5. No cellphones and keep your voice down

We don’t need to hear your conversation. Just today, as I was going down from work, three people were simultaneously chatting on their mobile phones. It wasn’t only irritating. I didn’t want to overhear each of their one way conversations. But they were outdoing each other’s volume. And I had 8 floors to go.

The Japanese are great examples of courtesy and decency when it comes to elevator etiquette. When they board a lift or train or bus, they don’t talk on their mobile phones.

Incidentally, it holds true for music and headsets. You’re supposed to hear YOUR music. If I wanted to appreciate a concert, I’d go to one. We’re not as tone deaf as you.

RULE IS – turn off your phone or place in silent mode when you board the lift. When you’re already in a conversation before you board the elevator, tell the other person you’re talking to that you’re getting into a lift and that you’ll call back. If you can’t cut the conversation, don’t take this lift. Wait till you’ve finished that conversation before riding the elevator. The lift is not your mini conference room.

For those appreciating the music at top volume, tone it down. Your sounds may be noise to me.

Silence is the key!

6. Eating is disturbing

We’re all starving to some degree. We probably dashed out of the office to grab a bite to eat. Eat it in your desk over a sad lunch or at the cafeteria or restaurant instead. Don’t bring out the food and munch while you’re inside the lift. You can enjoy every morsel of that bite in your space without having to irritate the others inside the lift. That is, of course, a different story if you want to offer everyone in that 30 seconds ride, a cheeseburger.

RULE IS – it is rude and gross to be snacking inside the elevator. Enjoy your meal without having to slobber all over the lift. If you spill food on someone who accidentally bumps into that ice cream cone, it’s your fault.

7. Stairs or stars

A bit of exercise is worth our health. It’s ironic that there are people who will run a 50km marathon but would want to take the elevator two or three flights up. If you’re in good health, you may want to be kind to those who need to use the lift more than you.

RULE IS – if you’re going one or two floors up or down, take the stairs. It is being considerate to those who need to use it. Think of it as your contribution to the good of mankind and your health.

8. Sorry I’m closing the door

This is a tough topic. You ever encountered that situation where someone or you are running towards the lift yelling “pssst pssst pssst” or “hoy hoy hoy” to hold the door? Then it closes. If you were the guy outside, some would probably be cursing at the inconsiderate bastard who didn’t hold the door and you’d have to wait another few minutes for the next lift to arrive.

RULE IS – he who is inside the door and has control of the door has the prerogative to allow you to join him in the lift or not. No one needs to wait for you when you when they’re inside the elevator already. It is always the prerogative of those inside the lift to allow to wait or leave you behind. If the people inside the elevator decide to wait for you, be grateful. You’re not the only one in a hurry.

If this article hits home, feel free to share away especially to those concerned. It would be good to have educated someone today on proper elevator etiquette. God knows this country needs this.

“The doctor is out” #PetPeeveStories

kidatheartLeave a comment

[PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS RECOMMENDED.  THE LANGUAGE USED MAY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN]

It’s never appropriate to give away your personal mobile number to patients. Unless the number you give is an office phone, or you have a personal secretary whom patients can get in touch with, then yes, it’s never appropriate to give away your personal phone numbers.

Patients will ALWAYS want to know how to get in touch with the doctor. I get that. Many, usually ask for your mobile number – just in case – they need to get in touch with you when they or their kids get sick.

Ever since I started my practice, asking for my personal number has been my number one pet peeve. “No you may not have it. On my card is the number of my clinic where you can contact me during office hours.”

During the earlier days when the pager was still in vogue, I didn’t mind that my pager number was emblazoned on my calling card. After all, it was one anonymous number and the patient had to get through another anonymous person who would filter the information that would be sent to me. It’s like having a private secretary that you needed to go through before I got the “emergency” message. My pager would vibrate. The message would appear. And I could call from my landline or phone (there were no Smartphones then), wherever I was. Or I would just save it for later if it wasn’t urgent.

But technology would change the landscape of clinical practice. Gone were the days when you were the CEO of your own private practice. Smartphones and tablets changed the way you dealt with patients. There are medical professionals who have “professionalised” their medical services providing online “consultations and opinions”.  Some take it a level higher by being able to “Viber” or  FaceTime with patients as well! And here’s where it gets really tricky and icky.

I have no quarrel with technology. Just where and how it’s used.

1. Personal space and professionalism is important

Doctors have a personal life. When the patient has an emergency, I am not 911. Take them to the nearest hospital. They should know what to do there. For the younger ones who’re trying to give away their personal numbers so that they can create a following (or a patient base) – DON’T! You’re making yourself open to liabilities and law suits by acquiescing to the patients desires. Keep a professional distance.  If they can pay to go to the hairdresser and queue to watch a movie, I think they can pay for a professional medical/surgical consultation. NEVER EVER GIVE A DIAGNOSIS TO A PATIENT YOU HAVE NOT PHYSICALLY EXAMINED OR SEEN.

I will tackle a general pet peeve on mobile phone use etiquette another day. Remember, you don’t have a right to call anytime you like. Because there is a text messaging service, kindly text first if the party you are calling can take your call. If they don’t reply in the next 5-10 minutes, it means they’re busy. Don’t call just because they don’t respond. If it needs attention, resend the message after 5-10 minutes. We may be seeing other patients or watching a movie or having fun with our family or cooking dinner or sleeping. We have a life, too.

The rule of thumb is – if it’s urgent or an emergency, take the patient to the hospital.

2. The email has landed… together with shit

So the Smartphones have made it “business is open” 24/7 for everyone.  It’s like a “pager” all over your precious space.  It’s all over my business card anyway, so I allowed it to be part of how to “contact” me.  And with “data” being cheaper than SMS services, it was fine, until the day I received a lot of shit in my email. I meant, literally, SHIT.  Pictures of their baby’s SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! and more SHIT!

Some moms thought that sending me those gross looking shit enveloped by a diaper would make me clinch the diagnosis.  It’s like an online revalida! I had questions to ask – did he have a fever, were there precipitating situations that made your boy poop green turd, is there any form of pain, are there rashes, what was his last meal? Of course, I wanted to ask if there was a stethoscope lying around in the house and could she listen to his tummy and tell me if the boy had hyperactive or normoactive or hypoactive bowel sounds.  Feel his tummy and tell me, is the liver big, can you feel the spleen, is there a mass, is there direct or indirect tenderness? Oh by chance do you guys have an ultrasound machine lying around in your house as well? Coz if you do, can you get to do an abdominal ultrasound while you’re at it?

The email just threw my whole textbook of physical examination and history taking out the window! All because the mother was worried about the turd!

The rule of thumb is – if it’s urgent or an emergency, take the patient to the hospital.

The second rule of thumb is – for God’s sake, take him to the nearest doctor in your area. I won’t mind!

You don’t have to flash all that turd or take naked pictures of the body and send it by email for me to give you a “provisionary” diagnosis. And hopefully get a prescription.  Some of these people will even exchange emails with you when you tell them that they need to bring the child to the clinic.  The favourite excuse? CODING!!!!!

I’m like, come on, if you feel that the kid is really sick and you need to go to see a doctor, I don’t think the traffic officer will try to stop you.  If he does – SHOW HIM THE F*CKING TURD YOU SENT ME BY EMAIL AND THROW IT IN HIS FACE!

3. Time is precious

A few years after I started my practice, I tried implementing a “by appointment” system.  That meant that patients who wanted to be seen without having to wait could do so by setting up an appointment (instead of the first come, first serve basis).   That’s because patients were complaining that the queue was too long. There was no cut-off.  They had other appointments to go to. And so on and so forth.

Did it work? NO!

Sadly, I think I was either ahead of my time or that this kind of system is unfit for Filipino patients.  Why did I say it did not work? It’s like this – they liked to make appointments, BUT 99% DID NOT BOTHER TO CALL IF THEY WANTED TO CANCEL!!! It’s soooo Filipino.  It’s like sending out an invite with the letters RSVP in bold.  You think they’d even bother calling to say they’re not coming? NO!!

The rule of thumb is – make sure that you respect each other’s time (both doctors and patients). 

I hate it as well that when a colleague says that his clinic hours are 10AM-12NN, he arrives tadaahhhh – 1PM!  We need to be conscious of other people’s time. Professionalism dictates that we observe the time of our patients as well.  After all, they have a life as well.  We all need to be somewhere, somehow, doing something that is important to us. If you’re running late, let the secretary know so that the secretary can inform the patients the time of your arrival. Let’s all respect each other’s time and space.

Of course, that means there’s the patient who’s also running late. Very very late. So when I say that clinic hours are 10am-12nn, it means that the last patient must come before 12nn because I need to leave at 12nn. But no!! Some of them pile up at 12nn so that they think they’re the last patient and won’t have to queue. (A separate blog on queuing is on the menu.) And the patients get irritated that they’re not the last to be seen. Five of them arrive at exactly 12nn. And there are still 2 more on the way. Each hoping to be the “last” patient for the morning. And that my friends is why the doctor is late for his next clinic at 2pm at another hospital.

4. Dear Google 

The internet has made everyone a keyboard warrior.  We’re only a few taps away from asking what the diagnosis of Burkitt’s Lymphoma or Kawasaki Disease is.  Press search and your friendly reference Google will help you find 1,000,000 hits in less than 1 second.  What do you do with all these references? Without appropriate training on how to critically appraise the published literature, the typical patient will scan through the easiest to understand (read – written in layman’s terms) or get discombobulated with the complex terms.  The next day, they’re at your clinic, all anxious and worried that their lives or of their children are about to end. On one hand is a whole envelope of print outs from what was downloaded last night! And they have a million questions…

They are, after all, within their right to ask.  That’s why there is a consultation.  How you face Google as their defence attorney is another matter altogether.

The rule of thumb is – Google is not a doctor.  Wikipedia is not a good reference material (READ: ATTENTION MEDICAL STUDENTS).

Which goes to the point of keeping up with the changing paradigms in the practice of your specialty or subspecialty. It’s called CONTINUING MEDICAL EDUCATION. Medicine is not an exact science.  There are hits and misses.  Mostly hits.  But we need to make sure that we are updated in our practice.  Because the patient sure is! And it would be shameful that when you’re caught with your pants down where the patient knows more than you, they’re probably not going to go back to you or recommend you.  It would be doubly shameful that you try to get around the fact that you didn’t know the reply to the great question your patient posted, by LYING through your teeth.

Remember, we’re all entitled to second, third, and even more opinions of our clinical condition.

The second rule of thumb is – Brush up on your practice. Take your Continuing Medical Education seriously.  Patients deserve nothing less when it comes to treating them.

Technology may assist us at organizing our office files and databases and create better efficiency in the hospitals and clinics. It is NEVER, however, the best way to assess the health of your patient. And not seeing the patient and fully examining, yet providing a prescription treatment through text messages or emails that later results in an adverse reaction is a recipe for disaster and a law suit.

State-of-the-art gadgets, equipments and medical devices are useless if what is between those ears are empty.

A gentle reminder. If your doctor gives you his/her personal mobile number – don’t abuse it. It doesn’t mean you’re besties already and that you need to send a text even at an ungodly hour or when he/she is out of the country (yes – we pay the roaming charges not you), if and when you need to. Proper decorum dictates that you treat each other in a professional manner or find someone who’s willing to live up with your expectations.

Being considerate is highly appreciated.

p.s. Don’t use the messenger on FB or other social media apps to get in touch with your doctor. It’s rude.

My pet peeve stories

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We all have pet peeves. And I’m sharing mine with you. I’m quite sure that some of you can relate to these.

We all have our little pet peeves. It’s that tiny corner of our lives that annoy us completely. But it’s not wrong to be annoyed when there is reason for annoyance.

For example, when basic etiquette isn’t observed or when someone abuses your kindness or simply watching someone from the sideline make an ass of himself/herself. Yup! Sometimes, there are just situations where you see people who are full of themselves.

Like have you ever been in a queue and someone suddenly cuts the line? Come on! We’ve been in line for the past 45 minutes as well! Or you’re in a elevator and the guy beside you has his headset pumped up to maximum volume and is gyrating his head to the “noise”! Or you’re in a hurry going up an escalator and the couple front of you are standing side by side chit chatting nonchalantly and when you say “excuse me”, one of them gives a dagger eyed look at you. Or the keyboard warrior whose grammatically wrong all the time yet bangs away when writing or commenting in a public forum.

So I’m sharing with you with my little annoying peeves. Because they are disturbingly rude or wrong! Etiquette and common sense play an important role in daily human interaction and we need to lead by example. Color, race, sex or status in society do not matter. Courtesy and discipline differentiate us as a people in society.

Hopefully, you will enjoy (or hate) and share the other side of my writing this month on #PetPeeveStories.