C.S. Lewis once said, “you can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

Oftentimes we get into a glut and pray for a rewind in life. You know what I mean. These are the “what if” and “if only” moments we’re in.

Every action or choice has its consequence. And we end up where we are because of the choice we make. A business that was unsustainable, a love story that did not end happily ever after, a career that went south, an affair that didn’t last – whatever it is, where we are are because of the choices we make.

All of us, yep, and there’s no exception to that rule, end up making that momentous choice. Even the trivial things like choosing which clothes to wear, or food to eat, or going for a swim, or having your armpits waxed – they’re choices we end up making. Whether you end up looking like an upholstery, or end up with a cholesterol laden dish, or decide to swim in a beach, or get a disastrous skin reaction from the armpit peel – they’re consequences we end up with. You see, there is no crystal ball after our choices. We live with it.

Get a grip! Life’s like that. Wherever we end up with our choices, it should not stifle our growth. Decisions are free. Making mistakes is human nature. If we keep revisiting our past and keep staying stuck in the “what if” and “if only” moments of our lives, we will remain prisoners of our past. Remember the rule – time has no rewind. Let go. The universe will always catch you even when you fall.

Not everything is meant to be understood. Sometimes people send mixed signals. Other times you’re not part of the equation in their lives so you’re caught unaware. In a relationship, you get confused when your boyfriend is hot one day and emotionless the next. It’s like, is he or isn’t he into you? Even among friends, if you’re not in the “inner circle”, or part of the clique, you’re probably the last to know that there was a grand get together last night but you weren’t invited.

Confusion is a state of uncertainty. Baffled. Bewildered. Puzzled. Perplexed. They’re all nouns to describe that mystified state where you try to understand the discombobulation in front of you.

“You can either focus on what’s tearing you apart, or what’s holding you together.”

I get it when people tell me that when things get “confusing”, they can’t think straight and make decisions based on the situation at hand. Sometimes they may be right, other times, wrong.

There’s really no answer on how to handle a confusing situation. Discernment is a key consideration. And oftentimes we get too engrossed in that state of bewilderment that we lose track of the road we travel.

Never give up on faith and hope in the midst of confusion. God will always be on our side and will never let you down when you need Him most. Trust me. I’ve been there.

Leo Tolstoy once said that the two most important warriors are patience and time.

Time is never on our side though. What is past has occurred. Tomorrow is always fraught with uncertainty. Today is always what we deal with. All the unpredictability leaves us anxious and desolate rewinding and overthinking. Let’s face it. Anything occurring at the moment is hardly remembered after the day is over.

Often times we procrastinate making decisions because even though we’re in a bad place, the sliver of hope keeps us doing what we used to. Hoping and praying that things get better. Or miracles happen. A piece of advice:

If you wait for the perfect time, it will never happen.

So we just sit back and wait and wait and wait for a sign to show us the path to making “right” decisions.

Patience is a virtue. We harness this virtue in order to rationalize making life changing steps. Taking a break from a relationship, quitting a job, venturing into a business, going back to school – whatever it is, time and patience will lead us to those crucial decisions.

The thing here is that time and patience can pose opposing discomfort. Patience makes you wait to the point of procrastinating a decision. Because we think we have time on our side.

I’m not saying that we make impulsive decisions here. I’m talking about crossroads that make you stop and ponder when to make a life changing decision. It goes without saying that we shouldn’t be making rash decisions at the spur of the moment.

When the events during the “patient moments” are intolerable anymore, we need to remember that waiting will not matter.

We need to grow through what we go through. Let go. Move on.

There’s an interesting poster regarding things one will never recover in life.

Life gives us over a billion lessons to learn from but only a few should be remembered well.

These opportunities are difficult if not impossible to recover at all. The most important of them to me is trust.

Whether it is love, professional or political scenarios, the deal breaker of trust is the most impactful.

When truth has been distorted and trust is lost, that’s the deal breaker. Nothing will ever be the same again. Ever.

Once upon a time in a land of make believe, there’s the story about a Princess who thought that all the decisions she made were the right ones because it pleased her.

She was never a princess. Her childhood years were difficult because growing up years proved to be rough. She struggled hard, but life threw tomatoes at her. Everything she touched was peachy at first. When people knew the real her they had second thoughts. She had beauty and charm and over time her life had improved. As she worked her way up the ladder of success, fame and fortune, she began to carry more baggages in the journey because she trampled on peoples feet during the climb.

One day, she met her prince in shining armour. She was showered with travels, jewels and the promise of a queenly life. She thought her life was to be a fairytale promise. But the fancy life in the palace was an illusion. Soon the money began to dwindle. Then the family problems of the prince started to grow into her. And the glass tower began to crack. The princess found herself no sooner than where she was back to – a life plagued with emotional and worldly problems. Her bitterness at the world became dimmer. Her paranoia and distrust worsened. Her once closest friends were now her biggest enemies. You see, the baggage she carried on her shoulders were always with her throughout her journey because she thought that she would use those excess baggages to get back at the people who she thought had wronged her in life. The princess had never let go of misery.

What is the moral of the fairy tale story?

Things don’t turn out the way we want for a reason. We sometimes live in a dark place or experience the worst of our times not because it’s a punishment but a cross we carry. Of course, not everyone deserves a cross to carry. But these crosses in life are meant to make us stronger, not bitter. Scarred, but survived. Better human beings, not monsters.

We need to carry on in life no matter how difficult it gets but sans the excess baggages. These heavy burdens of guilt, fear, pride, anger and hate should be left behind during our challenging journey. As we move on in life the less burden we carry, the less heavy our load. The less heavy the load, the kinder we treat people. Humility has its way of bringing back the good aura in our lives.

Sometimes we just need to do the right thing or trust the right people, and keep our hopes up that someday, all the wrongs done will eventually turn out right, and we get the happy endings we dream of.

As for the princess in the story, despite the many second chances she has had in life, she will have third and fourth chances over time.

That is true of our lives. We all have a princess in our life. Leave the baggages of hate behind. The journey is lighter that way. It’s also a happier one.