The story of the horse

Let’s face it. We perceive everything that happens to us as good or bad and miserably fail to grasp at reality. Happiness is, after all, relative.

Let me share with you this story:

There once was a farmer, whose horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad fortune”, they said full of sympathy.

“Maybe” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it, three other wild horses.

“What great fortune”, the neighbors exclaimed!

“Maybe”, replied the old man.

The following day the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the untamed horses. He was thrown off and broke his leg. The son would forever limp.

“What terrible fortune”, the neighbors cried.

“Maybe”, answered the farmer.

The next morning, the army came through the farmer’s village to draft young able bodied men for the war. Seeing his son’s limp, they passed him by.

The neighbors congratulated the farmer. “What wonderful fortune”!

“Maybe”, said the farmer.

The moral of the story is that nothing is static as it seems. It’s hard to tell which experiences are going to turn out fortuitous because everything is constantly changing. Opportunities come and go. Some disappointments end up being a stroke of luck.

The farmer in the story was responding to the situations presented nonreactively. And I guess that’s the way we should deal with the cards laid out randomly in our lives.

Facing life with a nonreactive stance may be the best thing one can take in order to lessen the anxieties we have in life. The less we react to many situations, the happier we become.

Keep life rules simple. Count your blessings. It’s a good life!

A cup of calm

I picked up that title from the tea I take every night. The major component of which are chamomile and lavender. And no, I’m not advertising the brand of tea. I’m just learning to destress my days ahead.

We all need to learn to ride the waves of anxiety. It’s not easy, but here’s a few thoughts that I’d like to share:

1. Meditation is the key to resting the weary soul.

Believe it or not, it’s difficult to deal with anxiety. While you look forward to better days ahead, there are just moments that are laden with uncertainties. Breath in deep and exhale slowly. Clear your mind. Refocus and meditate and clear the clutter.

2. Read inspiring stories instead of stressful ones. Watch a movie that will move your emotions rather than make you angry. May I suggest that you turn away from the news as you can’t distinguish the fake from the real, the confusing from the truth?

Yep! There’s been no better time to have media have their own interpretation than now. When the facts get distorted and a lie is tweaked to be the gospel truth then it’s time to shut down media as an appropriate source.

3. Listen to classical and instrumental music. Something soothing to the soul.

It’s always best to relax not only spirit but our emotions as well. And what better way to listen to sounds that appeal to calm. If you play an instrument (like I do, I play the piano), 30 minutes of this is therapy for anxiety.

4. Enjoy some moments with God. A few minutes at the adoration chapel helps relieve the burden.

Talk to God. He will always listen to you. He may not answer your questions but talking to Him is like talking to a friend. Unburden yourself to God. He is never judgemental and will provide you with the answers to your cross in due time.

5. Learn to inspire. The universe will always remember the kindness you share in spite of the hate.

Karma is a bitch. Don’t burden yourself with payback. Forgiveness is a virtue. Remember – you set yourself free when you forgive those who have wronged you.

Grateful

How often do you pause to appreciate what you have? Most of us would say, not enough. It’s because we tend to focus on what we lack and what we want.

Unfortunately, gratitude is something we brush aside most of our lives. If gratitude had superpowers or provided material rebates at every flinch, I’m sure we’d treat gratitude in a different light.

Unlocking the potential of being grateful for everything that comes your way is a good way to allow appreciation to flourish.

When we focus on what is good and what is grateful, it makes us feel good and widens our perspective. When we focus on the negative or on stress, we develop a tunnel vision on what life is about. A different perspective is looking at the bright side of life, no matter how bad the situation is or how difficult it gets. We struggle through life thinking mostly of the downside or negative days that we forget we’ve had good days as well.

When we begin to experience the wonders of gratefulness and joy, we transform our lives by simply enjoying the blessings God has provided.

Perhaps taking a pause to focus on what we have rather on what we lack is a paradigm shift we should consider taking. After all, no one said that in our lives, it would always be sunshine and laughter. Gratitude in even the smallest things in our life is the key to unlocking happiness with life’s many blessings.

Pause and recall, when was the last time you thanked God for your blessings?

Not meant to be

Seriously, the truth will always be painful. And pain will always change the way we look at things. But think of it this way. Truth will always be a revelation of many sorts.

The most important is dealing with what to do when things aren’t meant to be.

I’m borrowing someone’s thoughts and sharing this with my readers because I think it’s thought provoking. I’ve added a couple of thoughts in the sequence as well.

1. Because living your life as a prisoner is painful.

If you wake up every day trying to figure out how great it would be if you could be free from a particular situation then you’re keeping yourself in prison. And being strapped in chains isn’t the best place to be because it’s not a productive or happy place anymore.

2. There is always another thing to try. Another person to date. Another job. Another home. Another way.

Something new or better is always on the horizon. Loneliness and depression are not good places to be. Every question has an answer. Every problem a solution. Keep your chin up. After a storm, the sun still shines. There will be better days.

3. We exist in physical form for a finite amount of time.

We all think we have time. Procrastinating the inevitable seems to be a good choice at the moment. Stop playing Russian roulette with your life. You babble like a bitch in heat but aren’t willing to get out of the fire. Make the decisions you needed to make now. Not when it’s too late.

4. Because playing by the rules can be boring.

There are no rules that apply 110% of the time. Duh! It’s time to do things your way. It’s your time. Your moment to shine. If they don’t work out, who cares? Adjust! That’s life!

5. Because change is exciting.

There are uncertainties when we leave. Or change. You think it may be bad to explore a whole new world. Or perhaps you’ve also weighed in the good in departing from being a masochist. You think you’ve put it off for so long because you’re trying to avoid experiencing something. Honestly, you’re not a seer. You can’t predict what life has in store for you if you took a chance.

Three wise monkeys

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story about you”

– Maya Angelou

The Three Wise Monkeys, together embody the proverbial principle “hear no evil , see no evil, speak no evil”. It also refers to those who deal with impropriety by turning a blind eye.

It’s difficult when you’re in a situation where you’re a witness to wrong doings, speak out about the wrong in the hope of making things right and yet your own colleagues keep silent about the wrong. It’s sad because it sends a wrong message to the people whom harm has been done. There is just no moral support and it is traumatic (which is an understatement) to have to see someone go through this.

When someone distorts a lie to make everyone believe it is the truth, then it is evil and immoral. There’s a lot of that going around because purveyors, publicists and vagabonds will always need a job. It’s their business of integrating fantasy into what is real, unfortunately, to the point of having the reader or public initially question the facts, eventually muddle it up, and finally make the lie the gospel truth.

It is sad because good people deserve a better shake at life. We cannot just shrug from afar and watch good people go down because we don’t (pardon my French), give a f*ck!

If we simply stand back and watch and tolerate the evil that men do, then we are accomplices to that evil. We perpetuate it.

I am writing this for a friend who has seen darker days. I cannot promise you brighter days ahead. But I will pray that you too may have people who will support your quest for justice because life should give you a fair shake at happiness.

The star

Every story has a star.

While our stories shift each moment of our lives, everyone in these stories are supporting cast.

Think of your life as a TV series. Each of us has a central or mixed theme ranging from drama, comedy, horror (yes horror), political, romance, documentary, fantasy, or action.

While there are several writers and directors in the movie, there is only star in our life story. You!

We react to the other casts in the film of life. Oh yeah, there’s the hate and anger, romantic moments, death scenes, funny days – but they revolve around one central character – YOU!

And like you, the various characters have their own movies in life. And we are the supporting cast in the film of their lives.

Accountability, responsibility, maturity. These are simple words but they are tall orders for every one of us. Only true people will swallow their pride and remain to stay humble regardless of the position they achieve in life. Pathetic ones will always remain manipulative, coercive, and deceptive. In literature, or in the movies, they are the protagonist and the antagonist.

I’m sure you’re getting the parallelism I’m driving at now. Just like a movie, some things in life are simply misdirected. As to how the film pans out will also depend on your co-stars. Are they just mere props on the set or are they real actors and actresses in your life? After all, in their own films, they too are their own stars.

Of beginnings and endings

C.S. Lewis once said, “you can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.

Oftentimes we get into a glut and pray for a rewind in life. You know what I mean. These are the “what if” and “if only” moments we’re in.

Every action or choice has its consequence. And we end up where we are because of the choice we make. A business that was unsustainable, a love story that did not end happily ever after, a career that went south, an affair that didn’t last – whatever it is, where we are are because of the choices we make.

All of us, yep, and there’s no exception to that rule, end up making that momentous choice. Even the trivial things like choosing which clothes to wear, or food to eat, or going for a swim, or having your armpits waxed – they’re choices we end up making. Whether you end up looking like an upholstery, or end up with a cholesterol laden dish, or decide to swim in a beach, or get a disastrous skin reaction from the armpit peel – they’re consequences we end up with. You see, there is no crystal ball after our choices. We live with it.

Get a grip! Life’s like that. Wherever we end up with our choices, it should not stifle our growth. Decisions are free. Making mistakes is human nature. If we keep revisiting our past and keep staying stuck in the “what if” and “if only” moments of our lives, we will remain prisoners of our past. Remember the rule – time has no rewind. Let go. The universe will always catch you even when you fall.

Confusions

Not everything is meant to be understood. Sometimes people send mixed signals. Other times you’re not part of the equation in their lives so you’re caught unaware. In a relationship, you get confused when your boyfriend is hot one day and emotionless the next. It’s like, is he or isn’t he into you? Even among friends, if you’re not in the “inner circle”, or part of the clique, you’re probably the last to know that there was a grand get together last night but you weren’t invited.

Confusion is a state of uncertainty. Baffled. Bewildered. Puzzled. Perplexed. They’re all nouns to describe that mystified state where you try to understand the discombobulation in front of you.

You can either focus on what’s tearing you apart, or what’s holding you together.”

I get it when people tell me that when things get “confusing”, they can’t think straight and make decisions based on the situation at hand. Sometimes they may be right, other times, wrong.

There’s really no answer on how to handle a confusing situation. Discernment is a key consideration. And oftentimes we get too engrossed in that state of bewilderment that we lose track of the road we travel.

Never give up on faith and hope in the midst of confusion. God will always be on our side and will never let you down when you need Him most. Trust me. I’ve been there.

Patience and time

Leo Tolstoy once said that the two most important warriors are patience and time.

Time is never on our side though. What is past has occurred. Tomorrow is always fraught with uncertainty. Today is always what we deal with. All the unpredictability leaves us anxious and desolate rewinding and overthinking. Let’s face it. Anything occurring at the moment is hardly remembered after the day is over.

Often times we procrastinate making decisions because even though we’re in a bad place, the sliver of hope keeps us doing what we used to. Hoping and praying that things get better. Or miracles happen. A piece of advice:

If you wait for the perfect time, it will never happen.

So we just sit back and wait and wait and wait for a sign to show us the path to making “right” decisions.

Patience is a virtue. We harness this virtue in order to rationalize making life changing steps. Taking a break from a relationship, quitting a job, venturing into a business, going back to school – whatever it is, time and patience will lead us to those crucial decisions.

The thing here is that time and patience can pose opposing discomfort. Patience makes you wait to the point of procrastinating a decision. Because we think we have time on our side.

I’m not saying that we make impulsive decisions here. I’m talking about crossroads that make you stop and ponder when to make a life changing decision. It goes without saying that we shouldn’t be making rash decisions at the spur of the moment.

When the events during the “patient moments” are intolerable anymore, we need to remember that waiting will not matter.

We need to grow through what we go through. Let go. Move on.

Chapter 3 – Stories of faith and hope

Life will always find us come full circle of our beginnings. Our journeys will always be a test of resilience and how we survive life’s biggest tests. After all, let’s put it this way, life is like a big exam. Every once in a while, there are tests given to find out how we are able to hurdle them and continue with the next challenges.

This month marks another chapter to what I’m writing for you. It’s two of the most inspiring and heart crunching words in the dictionary – FAITH and HOPE.

We all need a little healing in our lives. I get it when people say that some of the things that happen, happen for a reason.

“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted.”

Being in that dark place leaves a sick feeling and you can’t help question the universe why it’s happening to you. Whether it’s love betrayed or professional jealousy or family feuds, problems that crop up in our lives add to our stress of daily survival.

The best support group will always be true friends who are there for you when you’re at your worst.

So here’s the rub, whatever it is we’re all going through, faith and hope will always be our best companions. After all, no one else will look out for you except yourself. One day, you will look back at all these and write your stories, as I do mine.

Everyday will always be a new chapter. A new beginning. A fresh start. Because we all deserve some miracles in life.