Don Miguel Ángel Ruiz, a Mexican author, summarizes four agreements we need to consider in our lives.

Entitled “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom”, the book published in 1997, reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering.

Here’s a summary and hope it serves as a daily reminder on life’s relative joy. It is self explanatory.

1. Be impeccable with your word.

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t take anything personally.

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless sufferings.

3. Don’t make assumptions.

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always do your best.

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Life can be as complicated or simplified as we make it. Only we decide for ourselves.

There’s quitting on drugs, caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or sex. But no, they’re not the most difficult things to quit from. Here’s the top five:

1. Trying to please everyone

So someone wants to be Miss Congeniality. There’s always someone in the group that wants to be a people pleaser to the point that they rumor monger just to be popular. Then there’s also the one that thinks that playing goody will get all the sympathy votes. Both are wrong. There is no Miss Friendship or Mr Sympathy in the real world.

2. Fearing change

As they say, the only thing that is permanent in this world is change. And there’s really nothing wrong with change because when we are afforded multiple chances in life, we become better people!

One of the hardest decisions in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, betrayal or loss – change is never easy. We fight to hold on. And we fight to let go.

3. Living in the past

Trauma makes it difficult for people to move on. Staying stuck in the past creates an atmosphere of bitterness and anger. Truth is, the past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased. Once we learn to accept it, we can move on.

Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.

4. Putting yourself down

Often times we underestimate ourselves. Not because we think we’re not good enough but because people have pushed you into believing you’re not good enough. But f*ck them! People who attack your confidence and self-esteem are aware of your potential and feel you’re a threat. Don’t give in to their insecurities.

5. Overthinking

We are laden with anxiety day in and day out. The mind is a dirty playground. We anticipate a problem even when the problem does not present itself. There are various signs of overthinking: we second guess, analyze things to death, suffer from insomnia, let someone decide for you, refuse to let things go, criticize yourself a lot, feel tense, unable to turn off your brain, expect the worse…to name a few. However it appears as, overthinking is hazardous to your health.

We all need to quit on the things that are burdens of daily living.

Everyday is an opportunity to change our lives. Another chance. A new beginning.

(n.) a crossroad; a critical decision or turning point in one’s life

We all have a quatervois.

Some look for signs. Others leave it to chance. And there will always be misgivings on making life decisions. Sometimes it’s the search for happiness or job satisfaction. More often than not, it’s the financial stability. But even when the job sucks and all the wrong are written all over the walls, the longer you tolerate the wrong, the more difficult it is to let go and get mired in all that shit.

Seriously, it’s called being an accomplice to it. And even just watching from a distance within the same bureaucratic mumbo jumbo is tantamount to dancing with evil.

I get it when you come face to face with a quatervois. It’s probably like looking at desperation straight in the eyes. A million things run through your mind. You want to fight it but you’re inclined to look the other way because of personal reasons. We all have that critical turning point in life. And the most difficult decision will always be made when you feel like giving up.

That point comes when you begin to solicit advice from others instead of deciding on your own. Why solicit the advice? It’s because you want to hear people stop you from leaving a job or perhaps someone you love reassuring you that the relationship is worth salvaging. Whatever it is, you want reassurance on uncertainty.

Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everybody else.

Remember: indecision will never move you forward. It’s a sign you don’t trust your intuition.

I’m sure a lot of you have heard this story but for those that have not, I’m writing this for you.

“A bird was flying south for the winter. But because it was so cold, it froze and fell to the ground on a large field.

As it lay dying there, a cow came by and shit on it. The frozen bird covered in cow dung then realized how much warmth the dung provided.

The dung was thawing it. He lay there warm and happy and began to sing for joy!

A cat not far away heard the bird sing and went to look for the bird. The cat soon found the bird, dug him out of the dung, and ate the bird.”

What does the story teach us?

Three things:

1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s better to keep your mouth shut.

We all get shitted on in life. Being a good person does not mean we have to put up with other people’s crap! But we need to live spending life decisions based on our goals. Not shit.

As a child I grew up to Aesop’s Fables or the Aesopica is a collection of fables credited to a slave and storyteller believed to have lives in the centuries before Christ was born.

The fables were made up short stories, all fictional and some dramatic twist with animals in an allegorical attempt to describe a political, ethical or moral dilemma in our lives. The age of technology has probably reinvented the approach to appreciating the fables but I will write this for you to remind us the rich literature and attempt to take a twist on the moral of the story.

The ant and the grasshopper

“In a field one summer’s day a Grasshopper was chirping, singing, and hopping about for fun. An Ant passed by carrying an ear of corn back to his nest.

“Why not come and chat with me”, said the Grasshopper, “instead of doing all that work?”

“I am helping to store up food for the winter”, said the Ant, “and suggest that you do the same.”

“Why bother about the winter?”, said the Grasshopper, “we have got plenty of food at the moment.”

The Ant went on it’s way and continued its work. When the winter came the Grasshopper had no food and was dying of hunger.

The Ant, however, had plenty of food to last all winter from all his hard work in the summer. Then the Grasshopper knew – IT IS BEST TO BE PREPARED.

A lot of us take life experiences for granted. It’s not only the financial aspect of life we prepare for during our sunset moments. After all, even if you had all that money, you’d probably be just spending it on healthcare. The story goes beyond preparing for our darker days. It reminds us that we always need to prepare for the moments when we have our guards down and face challenges in our lives.

There is a Grasshopper and an Ant in our lives. We don’t need to be just one of them. But we need to know when to be a Grasshopper or an Ant in the journey.

The sun shines after the rain. So what do you do to move forward after the storm? We need to give up some things to move on.

Let me share with you a mix bag that I’ve rewritten to some degree of tips on “7 things we must give up to move forward”:

1. Running from problems

It’s true that running away is a temporary fix to problems. But you should know which ones you can fix and those you need to get away from (for sanity’s sake). If you’re determined to fix the problem, you should do it without hesitation and make sure that you’re in it for the long haul (or brevity).

2. Shame of past failures

What is past is past. The past is not meant to be a life sentence but a lesson to be better at decision making. Avoid making similar mistakes. Your past is not your future.

3. Procrastinating life goals that matter

I told my staff that if there is no succession planning in an organization, you know that it’s not a good place to be. You need to know where you want to be 5 years from today. Life goals matter. They are your guiding stars. And sitting and waiting for the proverbial apple to drop into your mouth is such a bad habit. Map out your life. Remember, there’s never a turning back for time.

4. Excuses over decisions

Human nature makes us evolve to beings that provide excuses and more excuses. Rather than making those crucial decisions, people by nature give excuses when faced with uncertainties. This is most true if that uncertainty has to do with financial stability. Excuses are our perennial comfort zones.

5. Sitting empty handed

I tell my mom whenever she’s depressed that “an empty mind is the devil’s playground”. Make yourself useful during those down times. Keep the grief short. What happened happened for a reason. We may never know why. Move on. Life provides a million opportunities. Each day is a new chance at a new choice.

6. People’s opinion about you

Rumor mongering is the hallmark of a person who has nothing to do in life. The purpose for their existence is to serve as evil incarnate. When they die, no one will miss them.

I get it when we say that what other people think about you in a negative way is painful. Especially when they are purveyors of lies. What matters most is what is true and what you think about yourself. As they say, the truth will set you free.

7. No appreciation about life

Whatever happens don’t see yourself as a failure. We always underestimate our abilities. Well, sometimes you can’t help it because there are many insecure people who undermine your abilities from the get go. Don’t depend on others for your life decisions. Their opinions are simply suggestions. Appreciate what you have and make your life an excellent one!

(Adapted from Pyraweb – Empowering People. While the principles were adapted, the thoughts and opinions are the author’s)